Vampire Tigers

Jenny: "Hmph. Teacher's kids are worse than teacher's pets. Wait, wait a second... Raise your hand if you're a teachers kid."
*More than half the people there raise their hands...including Jenny*
Emily: "I'm not!"
Jenny: "You're a vet's kid! You look after the teachers pets."

Jenny: "Here Amy, have some of my drink."
Millie: "There are security guards around here."
Jenny: "You're just saying that because of the LSD..."
*Security guard walks right behind Jenny...*

*On the subject of Penises*
Laura: "Ew, I dont' want something like that stuck up my vagina!"
Jenny: "Of all the things someone might not want up their vagina..."

During PE the other day, they gave me a hockey stick. I whacked Amanda in the stomach, hit Brenno's fingers, killed Pat's legs and smashed Josh's shins. Caity tripped me over to stop my evil rampage. Altogether, my team broke at least 3 hockey sticks.

Mum: "Jennifer has a friend sleeping over tomorrow and they'll have to sleep in your room."
Dougy: "But... I need a bed."
Jenny: "You sleep on the floor!"
Dougy: "...I like the idea that I have a bed."

Why Nerds Are Better In Bed (From a movie that was on TV the other night):
"Jocks only think of sports. Nerds only think of sex."

Mr Farquharson: "You seriously need to get a new pencil. It seems you're very green but when a pencil gets that short..."
Jo: "Someone broke it! I think it was Jenny..."
Mr Farquharson: "Ah yes. She gets a bit testy. You should watch her."

Jenny: "I don't like Tuesdays."
Amy: "Today's Monday."
Jenny: "I'm talking about tomorrow. Gosh Amy. Think ahead."
Amy: "I've only got one..."
Jenny: "Brain cell?"
Amy: "Head."
Jenny: "...ahuh."
Amy: "A, head. Geddit?"
*Jenny shakes head sadly*

When I left home this morning, I was clutching onto a small fluffy stuffed toy tiger known as Sergeant Fuzzy-Boots.
When I got home this afternoon, I was clutching onto a bouquet of three full flowers, two stalks and one flower without a stalk that didn't belong to either of the other two stalks.
Thank you to the beautiful person who gave them to me. =)

The Crazy Redhead Ran Head-First into a Tree

On this date, 17 years ago, Freddie Mercury drew his last breath. To comemorate this event Jenny went to school with black earrings, black eye-make up (she usually wears none), a black undershirt and a black ribbon around her neck.

When she walked into German...
Mrs Raby: "Get over it. He's dead. He's a pile of ashes by now."
Millie: "Jenny... are you ok? Are you actually crying?"
When Mrs Raby was marking the roll she encouraged students to wave to her.

Jenny: "I'm not waving to Frau Raby. Not now. *Glares*"
Millie: "You get lollies."
Jenny: "Oh! I'll wave now."
Mrs Raby: "Nope. Too late."

After a while, Mrs Raby decided to try and make Jenny feel slightly better.

"Can you do exercise F? For Freddie Mercury."

Yes. Giving us WORK will make Jenny feel oh so much better. (Shut up Millie/Chris/Anyone else in my German Class).

Mrs Raby: "I saw Queen when they were in Botswana."
Jenny: "What were you doing in Botswana?!"
Mrs Raby: "I used to live there."
Jenny: "Are there any continents you haven't lived on?"
Mrs Raby: "America."
Millie: "Not even Mrs Raby would touch that."

Hugh: "The school is out and the students go to the ice dealer."
Mrs Raby: "Yep. Next translation... wait. What'd you say?"

"A ball is a circular square." - The Wiseness of Mrs Raby.

Mrs Raby: "Where's Geordie?"
Jenny: "Mr Harrison dropped him on his head."
Saxon: "They took him to hospital then Geordie's Dad picked him up."
Max: "How do you know?"
Saxon: "Mr Harrison's back."
Jenny: "Wait, Mr Harrison went to the hospital with him?! How do you explain that? 'Ah yes. This child was...ah...accidentally dropped on his head somehow. Can you fix it or replace it with a similar looking one so the parents don't notice?' "

"I am a lot like a pokemon, aren't I?" - Jenny

Mrs Raby: "If you do your homework now, you won't have to do it when you get home."
Jenny: "I did F before you told us to. I'm ahead of you all. Ha!"
Mrs Raby: "Have you done next years book yet?"
Jenny: "Ah...well...um...ye...no."
Mrs Raby: "I'm sending a SIP home."

*A Year 7 kid peeks into our classroom.*
Jenny *Creepily*: "Hello Child."
Emily: "Ignore her, she's emo."
Jenny: "No I'm not. I'm just very hungry"
*Jenny heads towards the door. The kid slams the door shut and locks it.*

My father and I were watching a duck swimming along. We called to the duck and it got out of the water and wagged its tail at us before it got back in the water and swam away. It headed towards a little bridge.

My father called out "Duck".

This gave way to a new phrase. When someone makes a really bad joke, they are said to have "said duck to the duck."

Example:

Jenny: "Are you going to have nightmares about triangles tonight?"
Mrs Raby: "I'll try not to."
Millie: "Ha, ha... Try, tri..."
Jenny: "Eurgh. Duck to the duck."

Magical Bananas That Turn Into Penises

There was a mutiny in the German class today! Sam and Max took over because Mrs Raby left us for at least a quarter of an hour. They make a great pair.

Chris: "What does 'Nichts wie raus hier!" mean?"
Max: "That's a really good question!"
Sam: "If we just turn the backs of our books..."

Mrs Raby came back in, she was made to knock and then she sat down at an empty seat and we carried on with the lesson.

Mrs Raby: "You could ask -them- to translate."
Sam: "Put your hand up!"
*Raises hand*
Sam: "Yes Carole?"

Mrs Raby: "Look for a past particle."
Max: "We might as well let -Carole- teach the class."

Mrs Raby: "Why are you asking them prepositions? I said past participles."
Sam: "We're warming them up."

Sam: "Ashley, you're on fire."
Jenny: "Oh, I wish."

Sam: "Jenny! Inappropriate. I'm seeing you after class."

Jenny: "Guess who topped the class for Science? You!"

Chris: "Wow. That makes me feel pretty damn good about myself."
Jenny: "That's because you are pretty damn good about yourself."

Chris: "Aww...if that made any sense whatsoever...thanks. About earlier... why were we talking about who had better conditions as a porn star?"

*Mr Perkins looks into a box with condoms and a banana that is on his desk.*
Mr Perkins: "Is this your gear then?"

Mr B: "Yep."
Mr Perkins: "I heard you had a reputation. *Really creepy laugh as he leaves the room*"

Girl reading outloud: "Cave paintings in France showed condom use."
Mr B: "I read that and thought about it, I didn't think about it for too long... but the first thing i thought was, how do you draw that?!"

Boy reading outloud: "Gabriel Fallopius found that condoms prevented pregnancies."
Mr B: "I wish that was my name. You all have to call me Gabriel Fallopius."

Boy reading outloud: "Condoms are now available in all shapes and sizes."
Hiroko: "Oooh! For a second there I was thinking squares and triangles..."

"Would you like the banana on or off? That sounds really weird..." - Mr B.

Chris: "Jenny, your phone's ringing."
Jenny: "Fucking hell. They've been fucking ringing me all day! I don't fucking know you. Leave me the fuck alone! Fuckity fuck fuck... Oh! It's Dad..."

A Little Less Lust in the Playground Please

Chris: "I was almost hit by a pen! My life flashed before my eyes!"
Jenny: "It's not the first time you've been hit by a pen. Ooooh!"
Chris: "That was below the belt."

Jenny: "I don't have sex dreams."
Flick: "You're weird."

Fruitbats!!

Year 7 HSPA Chick: "We were watching a video of Queen today, there were lots of girls riding a motocycle wearing barely nothing. I bet all the boys in my class had boners."
Jenny: "But, you're in year 7! They'd all be so small. WAIT! NO! I DIDN'T IT MEAN LIKE THAT!!"

Three cheers for Chlamydia!

More Jenny on Dwyer religion talk! (You heard me.)
Jenny: "But you're religion makes you against homosexuals."
Dwyer: "I'm not against them, I just don't agree with them."
Trent: "That makes all the difference."

"He's so cute I just want to kill him." - Jenny about Ryan, the brand new year 7 SRC person.

Jenny: "Calm down Amanda, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth..."
Amanda: "I can't breathe through my nose."
Jenny: "Hahahahahaha, sorry... that sounds like I'm trying to get you to kill yourself..."

"It's a tissue, not a friggin' blanket!" - Dwyer after witnessing Jenny very carefully folding a tissue.

Jenny: "Hi Mum"
Mum: "Didn't you have a fringe?"

*Watching a video in History*
Mr Perkins: "Blah, blah, blah..."
Jenny: "Shhh! Oh! I'm sorry! That was automatic!"
Mr Perkins: "I understand. *Pats Jenny on the head*"

This is one of those random stories where you write a line and leave a word o
n the next line and someone else writes a line without seeing the previous full line. Normal font is what I wrote, Italics is what Millie wrote and Bold is what Emily wrote. Spelling mistakes included!

Millie entered into the magic garden and found a beatiful is a great word ... it can many things. Any way, on with the story... "Oooooh" cried the magical elves. Blueberry the muffin shouted "RABIES!!" is the disease they told us Jenny had. We all sobbed hystericly. Yeah, I think everyones been there ... or at least I have. No money to save Jenny. Poor Jenny. Lest we forget.

Another Night At Mercury's

THE DRAMA PERFORMANCE IS OVER!! ...It'll never be performed again. ='(
Most of the lines in the play will be forgotten by the end of the year...some of the lines were never learnt. Some people didn't know their own character names. It was gruelling, tough work but it was worth it just to hear one little line:

Daisy (Jenny's Character): "You sorted out your problems like grown men! I'm impressed... and surprised."
JOHN. Not Dave. JOHN!! (Jacob's Character): "Let's hope you're not the only chick impressed and surprised tonight."

Yes... that was the best line in the performance (in Jenny's opinion)...what does it say about the rest of it?

"You're not insane...just crazy." - Thanks Amanda. That makes it all so much better.

Laura (Year 10 bus friend): "Now, I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into having sex with your boyfriend."
*Jenny laughs so hard she hits her head on the buspole thingy with the button on it*

What Mrs Scollay Wrote On The Board: "2^3 x 2^2 = 4^5. What has Sally done wrong? Answer, She is a woman."

Trent: "Haha, you're a diligent student."

Siobhan to me: "What are you doing in here? You're not in our class. Wait...yes you are."
Josie: "This is English. You're not in our class.

"I feel like I'm having a baby from my Abdomen" - Laura (Year 10 bus friend)

Someone I've forgotten: "You know what's really cool? Putting petrol on a guitar, lighting it on fire and playing it with your teeth."
Jenny: "JIMI!!"
Amy: "...who?"
Jenny: "Jimi Hendrix."
Amy: "WHERE?!"

Jenny: "If you put white board marker over the other stuff it'll come off easier."
Mrs. Raby: "You've researched this haven't you?"

Ah, the passions that are aroused *slaps any hands held out* in 'The Mou'... the anger, the hilarity, the pain, the non-existant moustache, the AIDS, the Freddie "Most Awesome Creature to Ever Exist And I really Wish He was Alive and not OLD" Mercury, the envy, the EDGAR!! ...

"Envy?" I hear you ask, (that's right, my hearing's so good I can read your minds BEFORE THE THOUGHT HAS EVEN GOT THERE!)" Envy." I reply.

"What would I be envious about?" you ask again (Even though you haven't asked it yet). The fact that EMILY'S GETTING A TOUCH IPOD FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Thaaaaat's right. A touchpod. *slaps more hands*