On the same English story mentioned in an earlier post:
Mr Grogan: "Why kidnap someone and give them extra arms?"
Jenny: "Why not?"
*Mr Grogan chuckles*: "Why not indeed..."
You learn a lot about people in German class, I mean who knew that Sam wanted to marry Max and have 21 children, that Keiran wanted to be a sheep, Saxon wanted to make arms or that Geordie wanted a sex change?
Of course we all knew that Trent wanted to become Chris.
Mooy: "I just groped Jenny"
Amy: "We've all been there"
Jenny: "What's yellow and very dangerous? A BANANA WITH A MACHINE GUN!!"
*Dad looks at Mum*: "This is all your fault. You should never have slept with me."
Mrs Noonan: "We had a security guard in Uganda that we paid to protect us...he was arrested for rape."
I love those cheeky people who made such a commotion in Assembly the other day by pulling the chairs out from the girls sitting in front of them.
GO ME! ... not that I...had ANYTHING...to do with it of course... =D believe me?
NESS QUOTE
Ness: "Can you play House of the Rising Sun on the piano?"
Me: "Yeah"
Ness: "AWESOME! PLAY IT NOW!"
Me: "...on what?"
Ness: "Ooh yeah, there isn't a piano in the middle of a corridor is there?"
I wonder if she says these things deliberately...
Monday, June 23, 2008
Glitter Fight
Amanda: "That's a good story, Jenny. You're going to be a great novelist when you grow up."
Mr Grogan: "Don't encourage her!"
Flick: "Aww...you made The Chrissie cry."
Chris: "The Who?"
Jenny (I didn't hear what Flick said): "The Who is awesome! Roger Daltrey has SUCH a manly voice and he's not too bad looking for an old man. I'd do him. I would do him..."
*Flick and Chris look at each other...then pat Jenny on the shoulder in a "We forgive you for being crazy" kind of way.*
Mr Farqharson: Epetesterone can cause men to go bald if there's too much of it"
Kelby (The one who shaved her hair off for the World's Greatest Shave): YEAH!! BALDNESS!!
Mr Farqharson: "You may want to go home and look in the mirror because I'm pretty sure you don't have testes."
Mr Farqharson: "If you're walking around and you meet an escaped Tiger who is very hungry, you will release adrenalin"
Jenny: If it were Chris, he'd release something else...IN HIS PANTS!" (Not cream.)
"Why are you so shiny, Jenny? I keep looking up and you dazzle me." - Mrs. Raby
Some kid in my German class: I cut my finger on the chair.
Mrs Raby: Go get some water to put on it and if you bleed to death on the way there, let me know.
Mr Grogan: "Don't encourage her!"
Flick: "Aww...you made The Chrissie cry."
Chris: "The Who?"
Jenny (I didn't hear what Flick said): "The Who is awesome! Roger Daltrey has SUCH a manly voice and he's not too bad looking for an old man. I'd do him. I would do him..."
*Flick and Chris look at each other...then pat Jenny on the shoulder in a "We forgive you for being crazy" kind of way.*
Mr Farqharson: Epetesterone can cause men to go bald if there's too much of it"
Kelby (The one who shaved her hair off for the World's Greatest Shave): YEAH!! BALDNESS!!
Mr Farqharson: "You may want to go home and look in the mirror because I'm pretty sure you don't have testes."
Mr Farqharson: "If you're walking around and you meet an escaped Tiger who is very hungry, you will release adrenalin"
Jenny: If it were Chris, he'd release something else...IN HIS PANTS!" (Not cream.)
"Why are you so shiny, Jenny? I keep looking up and you dazzle me." - Mrs. Raby
Some kid in my German class: I cut my finger on the chair.
Mrs Raby: Go get some water to put on it and if you bleed to death on the way there, let me know.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Blue Sticker
DEATH TO OTHER ORGANISMS!!
"This texta tastes like cherries." - Joe...on tasting his pen.
I'm being stalked by Onlooker...who'd've thought?
"I'd hit that.....with a truck!" - Brendon on Chris. Brendon has no taste. (Ahahaha sorry Dani.)
"My pencil case and crotch are out of bounds" - Chris
Kangaroos?
"Do you want a piece of paper with dicks or without?"
"Is your cervical feeling immunised?"
Wanted: Anyone willing to join Emily and Jenny's Singing Yoga Class with BONUS!! Throwing Fridges at People.
"They don't teach Latin in school anymore do they?" - Mr. Perkins our "new" history teacher, he knows a lot about the subject what with having lived through it and all.
My name is 'Elga, I am from Switzerland. I am a Swiss. I like chocolate, and doing the splits.
"Closing" Sophie's locker is good fun.
NESS QUOTE
"Your parents look alike"
(For the many of you who have never seen my parents, my father is tall, thinnish with grey hair and a bald patch that is rapidly growing. Mum is short, plump with dark hair that goes to past her shoulders.)
"This texta tastes like cherries." - Joe...on tasting his pen.
I'm being stalked by Onlooker...who'd've thought?
"I'd hit that.....with a truck!" - Brendon on Chris. Brendon has no taste. (Ahahaha sorry Dani.)
"My pencil case and crotch are out of bounds" - Chris
Kangaroos?
"Do you want a piece of paper with dicks or without?"
"Is your cervical feeling immunised?"
Wanted: Anyone willing to join Emily and Jenny's Singing Yoga Class with BONUS!! Throwing Fridges at People.
"They don't teach Latin in school anymore do they?" - Mr. Perkins our "new" history teacher, he knows a lot about the subject what with having lived through it and all.
My name is 'Elga, I am from Switzerland. I am a Swiss. I like chocolate, and doing the splits.
"Closing" Sophie's locker is good fun.
NESS QUOTE
"Your parents look alike"
(For the many of you who have never seen my parents, my father is tall, thinnish with grey hair and a bald patch that is rapidly growing. Mum is short, plump with dark hair that goes to past her shoulders.)
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Twin Peaks of Womanhood.
No, I am not a lesbian. Nor am I an Australian Playwright. *Shudder*
Jenny: *stares at Flick* Meeeeeeeeeeeeelons. (She giggled loudly when I said bananas, I was trying out different fruit)
Amy: Yes Jenny. Girls have melons.
Jenny: I don't, I have boobs. Hey! Wouldn't that be cool? If boobs were actually watermelons or something. If you got really hungry you wouldn't starve.
*Amy and Flick just stare*
Girl 1 from Play: Do you get food orgasms? Sometimes I get really food horny and then when I have the food I get a food orgasm. Do you get that?
Girl 2 from Play: No. I just like the taste.
Caity and I were playing Schtalkie Von Schtalk's "Stalking" Game again today, we got quite daring and even followed Mr Muddle! He heard us giggling and turned around a few times to look at us as if we were weird or something...
Michael now feels famous.
Mooy looks like a piglet, if everyone was stranded on a desert island they'd eat Mooy because he looks like he'd taste of ham.
Did you hear about the butcher who reversed into a meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass.
I tried writing with a blunt pencil but I couldn't see the point.
Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side cut off? He's alright now.
"I don't have genitals" - Hosford
Brandon and Flick were pushing the desk in Science back and forth for some reason. I got glared at when I started cheering the girl-on-girl action on.
NESS QUOTES
"Did you know it's illegal for girls to pull their shirts over their heads, even if they're wearing a singlet, and run around like aeroplanes?"
Ness was jumping randomly in the canteen line.
Jenny: What are you doing?
Ness: Reaching for the chocolate on the fridge.
Jenny: *stares at Flick* Meeeeeeeeeeeeelons. (She giggled loudly when I said bananas, I was trying out different fruit)
Amy: Yes Jenny. Girls have melons.
Jenny: I don't, I have boobs. Hey! Wouldn't that be cool? If boobs were actually watermelons or something. If you got really hungry you wouldn't starve.
*Amy and Flick just stare*
Girl 1 from Play: Do you get food orgasms? Sometimes I get really food horny and then when I have the food I get a food orgasm. Do you get that?
Girl 2 from Play: No. I just like the taste.
Caity and I were playing Schtalkie Von Schtalk's "Stalking" Game again today, we got quite daring and even followed Mr Muddle! He heard us giggling and turned around a few times to look at us as if we were weird or something...
Michael now feels famous.
Mooy looks like a piglet, if everyone was stranded on a desert island they'd eat Mooy because he looks like he'd taste of ham.
Did you hear about the butcher who reversed into a meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass.
I tried writing with a blunt pencil but I couldn't see the point.
Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side cut off? He's alright now.
"I don't have genitals" - Hosford
Brandon and Flick were pushing the desk in Science back and forth for some reason. I got glared at when I started cheering the girl-on-girl action on.
NESS QUOTES
"Did you know it's illegal for girls to pull their shirts over their heads, even if they're wearing a singlet, and run around like aeroplanes?"
Ness was jumping randomly in the canteen line.
Jenny: What are you doing?
Ness: Reaching for the chocolate on the fridge.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
More Nakedness
Jenny: Why are they walking around in their underwear?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why don't they go into a bathrom to put some clothes on?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why did that man just give them money?
Emily: ...do you REALLY need me to answer that one?
"You have asian on your face"
I was being stalked by a window today. Everytime I turned my back on it (I was sitting on the windowsill in maths...wait...why? That's odd...) it would rattle. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING TO CAUSE THE RATTLE!
Jenny randomly bursts into spouts laughter. Caity looks up from her sandwich...
Caity: What?
Jenny: Come in and see the good good good guys, pay cash and we'll slash the prices...
Caity gives Jenny a look.
Jenny: Ow! My maths book just elbowed me in the chin!
Flick: Since when has a maths book had elbows?
Jenny: ...go dye your hair.
"Hehe, the birds are flying in a V shape, but it's not a V. It's more like an M squiggly shape" - That blonde chick.
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why don't they go into a bathrom to put some clothes on?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why did that man just give them money?
Emily: ...do you REALLY need me to answer that one?
"You have asian on your face"
I was being stalked by a window today. Everytime I turned my back on it (I was sitting on the windowsill in maths...wait...why? That's odd...) it would rattle. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING TO CAUSE THE RATTLE!
Jenny randomly bursts into spouts laughter. Caity looks up from her sandwich...
Caity: What?
Jenny: Come in and see the good good good guys, pay cash and we'll slash the prices...
Caity gives Jenny a look.
Jenny: Ow! My maths book just elbowed me in the chin!
Flick: Since when has a maths book had elbows?
Jenny: ...go dye your hair.
"Hehe, the birds are flying in a V shape, but it's not a V. It's more like an M squiggly shape" - That blonde chick.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bobble headed people with straws in the front row.
It's been a year since this time last year, and I've been thinking about science class an awful lot, so here it is folks, RANDOM QUOTES (that might not be quoted perfectly rightly because it has been a year or so!) FROM SCIENCE CLASS LAST YEAR!
Jenny: I really like that jumper, Mr Patrick. I think it's cool.
Mr Patrick: Thank you Jenny. It's not cool though. It's actually quite warm.
*Jenny looks blankly whilst Chris cracks up*
Chris in an undertone to Jenny: He made a joke...
Jenny stole Chris' pens and after struggling to get them back for a while, he gives up and dobs.
Chris: Mr Patrick, Jenny won't give me my pens!
Jenny: They're my pens! Chris was mistreating them.
Mr Patrick: Jenny, give Chris the pens. Chris, don't mistreat Jenny's pens.
I find that amusing because:
a) Chris is the more trustworthy of the two of us but Mr Patrick believed me
and
2) HOW THE HELL DO YOU MISTREAT A PEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCIENCE CLASS?!
*Chris sneezes*
Jenny: Bless you.
Mr Patrick: No talking in class! *Writes Jenny's name on the board*
Chris: I hope you learnt your lesson Jenny. No common courtesy in Science Class.
And until this day, I always slap myself for being commonly courtesyfilled in Science Class.
PRESENT DAY SCIENCE CLASS
Jenny: What's his name?
Chris: Who?
Jenny: Mackenzie. *lengthy pause* Never mind.
Chris' Mosquito Repellent:
If potassium explodes in water and bananas contain a lot of potassium, then if you put a banana in water, wouldn't that explode?
We know that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten a banana, therefore wouldn't it be fair to say that mosquitoes are attracted to bananas?
So, if you put a banana on a stick, and put glue on the banana on the stick and carried it around with you all day. The mosquitoes would be attracted to the banana and get stuck on the glue.
If you were to then throw the banana in a bucket of water, then the banana with the mosquitoes stuck on it would explode.
"Ow! I'm ok. And by that I mean I'm insane."
Jenny: I really like that jumper, Mr Patrick. I think it's cool.
Mr Patrick: Thank you Jenny. It's not cool though. It's actually quite warm.
*Jenny looks blankly whilst Chris cracks up*
Chris in an undertone to Jenny: He made a joke...
Jenny stole Chris' pens and after struggling to get them back for a while, he gives up and dobs.
Chris: Mr Patrick, Jenny won't give me my pens!
Jenny: They're my pens! Chris was mistreating them.
Mr Patrick: Jenny, give Chris the pens. Chris, don't mistreat Jenny's pens.
I find that amusing because:
a) Chris is the more trustworthy of the two of us but Mr Patrick believed me
and
2) HOW THE HELL DO YOU MISTREAT A PEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCIENCE CLASS?!
*Chris sneezes*
Jenny: Bless you.
Mr Patrick: No talking in class! *Writes Jenny's name on the board*
Chris: I hope you learnt your lesson Jenny. No common courtesy in Science Class.
And until this day, I always slap myself for being commonly courtesyfilled in Science Class.
PRESENT DAY SCIENCE CLASS
Jenny: What's his name?
Chris: Who?
Jenny: Mackenzie. *lengthy pause* Never mind.
Chris' Mosquito Repellent:
If potassium explodes in water and bananas contain a lot of potassium, then if you put a banana in water, wouldn't that explode?
We know that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten a banana, therefore wouldn't it be fair to say that mosquitoes are attracted to bananas?
So, if you put a banana on a stick, and put glue on the banana on the stick and carried it around with you all day. The mosquitoes would be attracted to the banana and get stuck on the glue.
If you were to then throw the banana in a bucket of water, then the banana with the mosquitoes stuck on it would explode.
"Ow! I'm ok. And by that I mean I'm insane."
Monday, June 2, 2008
Die Jungen tragen keinen Rocke.
Everything sounds funnier in German don'tcha think?
(For all those silly English speaking peeps, the title means "The boys wear no skirts")
Figured out three things on Saturday.
1. The songs Mickey and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go are NOT as innocent as I thought.
2. Amy looks like Chris' dog. NO JOKE!!!! It's pretty cool really. It's a beautiful dog of course, so it's not really an insult.
3. Running into tiled steps is very painful and can leave you with a mark on your leg that looks like a gun shot wound. IT'S SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!! I LOVE MY LEG!!
Ness: You're sick.
Jenny: It's just a headcold.
Ness: More like headcase.
In Unison: COLDCASE!
Ness: SO YOU ARE 65 BECAUSE YOU WERE MURDERED 30 YEARS AGO!!!
Well. It makes sense to ME.
[Insert that other thing I was going to remember to write here, here.]
NESS QUOTES!
"When I was younger I thought I was allergic to Turtles."
"I thought it was Arnold Whatsanigger until you corrected me last year"
(For all those silly English speaking peeps, the title means "The boys wear no skirts")
Figured out three things on Saturday.
1. The songs Mickey and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go are NOT as innocent as I thought.
2. Amy looks like Chris' dog. NO JOKE!!!! It's pretty cool really. It's a beautiful dog of course, so it's not really an insult.
3. Running into tiled steps is very painful and can leave you with a mark on your leg that looks like a gun shot wound. IT'S SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!! I LOVE MY LEG!!
Ness: You're sick.
Jenny: It's just a headcold.
Ness: More like headcase.
In Unison: COLDCASE!
Ness: SO YOU ARE 65 BECAUSE YOU WERE MURDERED 30 YEARS AGO!!!
Well. It makes sense to ME.
[Insert that other thing I was going to remember to write here, here.]
NESS QUOTES!
"When I was younger I thought I was allergic to Turtles."
"I thought it was Arnold Whatsanigger until you corrected me last year"
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