Get Off My Lawn

Mum: "Oh! You're wearing your Christmas top."
Jenny: "...It's Christmas Day."

*Opens door*
Police Officer: "Sorry to disturb, but the lady next door has accused you of eating her cat."
Grandma June: "No, no... I'm having hot dogs tonight.

A moment now to complain of a certain daughter of a VET who not only locks her cats in CUPBOARDS for MORE than 12 hours, but also leaves FOUR of her cats alone in their cattery with a SNAKE! And then goes on holidays for 3 weeks to THAILAND WHERE THEY PROBABLY EAT CATS!!! I mean, really... it's not very nice is it?

Mum: "Will you go put ham on the table please? Wait, is it safe?"
Jenny: "We have a grown man, a teenage boy and a cat roaming around the place. No, it's not safe."
Mum: "Hmm... Ah! Let me teach you something that you can use when you're a grown woman with children of your own. Gladwrap. Grown men, teenage boys and cats can't handle it."
Jenny: "...Neither can I."

"I don't plan to see myself dead in my lifetime." - Jenny's wisdom.

Coming soon to a school near you (or...not if you live a long way away from the school, or if you're currently overseas...):
THE TRAGEDY OF BEING GLUTEN INTOLERANT.
A tragedy, based on a true story and her plight of being gluten intolerant. Performed by Jenny and Millie. A ONE OFF performance people, probably, unless we get an encore...
We may also do more in the future, someone remind me to discuss that with Millie.

*Things You'll Hear When Dougy's Driving*
"No! Douglas! The left side of the road! THE LEFT!!!!!"

Dougy won't be driving for a while... He left home...sometime over the holidays... I'm a fantastic sister. I can't remember when my own brother left home. Anyway...

He joined the Royal Australian Air Force. To become a cook.
TAFE is just what you'd be expecting someone who wanted to become a cook to go to...