Facebook is stealing most of my material!

I apologise. This is the first time in over 18 months that I have not made a post in over a month. I feel rather awful because...well...this isn't going to be a very long post as it is. It's not my fault though! It's FACEBOOK'S! Everytime something funny happens, or if I mention something funny... my father puts it on Facebook. So I apologise that this... small blog writer is having difficulty competing with a much bigger social networking site. I WILL STRIVE TO DEFEAT THIS!

Millie: "Look at Geordie!"
Jenny: "Is he asleep?"
Millie: "Yeah, I think he is."
Jenny: "Let's throw something at him!"
*Mrs Raby notices*
Mrs Raby: "IS GEORDIE ASLEEP?!?"
*Geordie wakes suddenly*
Mrs Raby: "That is the first time anyone's ever fallen asleep in MY class."

Jenny: "Mum! I have a freckly on my eyelid!"
Mum: "How do you know?"
Jenny: "I was looking in the mirror!"
Mum: "...You need your eyes closed to see your eyelid."

*The most unusual way a lesson has ever been started in my 11 years of school.*
Mrs Raby: "That runner is a haemaphrodite!"
*While Mrs Raby discussed this with Sam, other people in the class formed little chats of their own...*
Tory: "How do people get both parts?"
Jenny: "Everyone starts off as girls"
Tory: "Does that mean I might be a haemophrodite?"
Jenny: "No...I assume you would have a fully formed penis. A haemophrodite is someone who started to become a male but the testes didn't come through the vagina."
Tory: "But I don't have a vagina!"
Jenny: "THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT A HAEMAPHRODITE!"
*Class looks at Jenny...of course.*

Fletcher *looking out the door*: "Is that Lydia?"
Mrs Walker *waddles quickly out of the door, the class hears from the corridor*: "Lydia! Why aren't you in class?! Oh. It's not Lydia..."

Mrs Raby: "Jenny, are you doing German next year?"
Jenny: "Yes. I'm too scared of you not to."

To celebrate Toilet Guy's last day...nay...last ten-20 minutes in attendance at our school, Jenny approached him and said the following:

"Can I hug you? I love you. I really do. You don't know me, but I watch you."

(I just wanted his last day to be memorable. Personally, I'll never forget it. I tried doing the same to dear Nose Guy but he'd already gone...)

NESS QUOTE!

Jenny: "Did you know all the actors in Bewitched died of cancer?"
Ness: "What's Bewitched?"
Jenny: "A tv show."
Ness: "Is it a cartoon about ghosts?"
Jenny: "...No. Why?"
Ness: "You said the actors were dead. Is it about zombies?"
Jenny: "...It's from the 60s."
Ness: "Ooooooh!"

Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Sodomy

We have two families who we're friends with in Germany, some of you know Ariane who stayed with me for a while. Her father is a huge man with a gutteral Austrian accent. His car is a HUGE 4wd with an incredible sound system and he drives it incredibly fast. This man is the epitomy of manhood. What song was he playing on his incredible sound system at an ear shattering volume? A song entitled "The Last Unicorn.". He played it twice.

Jenny: "He keeps asking me if Ariane is hot."
Mrs Raby *James, the fat redheaded one*: "She wouldn't fancy you anyway!"

*After hearing the brand new computers had been stolen from the PDM rooms*
Jenny: "So either the cleaners left the door unlocked, or it's an inside job."
Mrs Greenland: "Yeah, I actually stole them.

Jenny: "Can I borrow your thumb drive please?"
Emily: "Sure, if you can turn this computer on."
Jenny: "Is it plugged in?"
Emily: "..."

Jenny *calling loudly to someone she's forgotten*: "The Church says that masturbation makes you blind!"
*Jenny notices a teacher standing very closely behind her*
Teacher: "How embarrassed are you right now?"

*Going to a fancy dress party. My brother was going as "Lambton"*
Mum: "How are we going to attach the sign to him?"
Jenny: "A stapler?"

Jenny: "Mrs Mackenzie, is it ok to have a German in the class?"
Mrs Mackenzie: "A what?!"

Jenny: "Everytime you look at me, Millie, I'm going to make a funny pose."
*Strikes a disco pose*
Frau Spaett: "Yes? You have a question?"

Frau Spaett *marking the roll*: "Trent?"
Trent: "Yes."
Frau Spaett: "Is Trent here?"
Jenny: "Yes, he is."
Frau Spaett: "Where?"
Jenny: "He's the one over there saying yes."
Frau Spaett: "Oh, of course."

Mrs Golder: "Russel, choose someone who hasn't been chosen to answer a question."
Russel: "Scott."
Scott: "I just did it."
Russel: "Oh ok. Jenny."
Jenny: "I did it after Scott."
Mrs Golder: "Have you been in class for the last ten minutes? You'd be great at a party. You'd be drunk already. Doesn't he look drunk?"

Mr Priestly *sick of stopping every two seconds to stop us talking*: "I'm going to develop a speech impediment soon!"
Jake (who has a speech impediment for those who don't know him): "Hey!"
Mr Priestly: "Not that that's a bad thing."

Who Gives A Swinebird?

I really am, deeply...truly...sincerely sorry that it took me so long to upload. I'm ashamed of myself, and all of you who didn't nag me nearly enough. Tsk tsk. (I'm joking, Emily...don't hurt me.)

*Whilst the idiots were eating deep fried ice cream*
Jenny: "I was talking to a guy today who tripped and accidentally put his arm in a deep frier."
Beau (friend of brother who happens to be a fireperson): "Was his arm covered with batter?"
Dougy: "That's a good idea! Whenever you go fight a fire, cover yourself in batter!!"

Millie: "Let's work now!"
Sophie *holding up a coin*: "Did you know these coins aren't valid in New Zealand anymore, but they're valid in Australia."
Emily: "...thanks Soph."
Jenny: "Why IS that?"
Millie: "SHUT UP JENNY!"
Sophie *whispers*: "They resized their coins in New Zealand."

Jenny: "My average body temperature is 34 degrees celsius."
Zooty: "You're like a lizard."

Mrs Walker: "Which atom is best? Carbon12, Carbon13 or Carbon14? The answer is Carbon12."
Fletcher: "Unless you're dating someone."
*Mrs Walker thinks intently (seriously, you can tell when she's thinking)*: "I don't need to know about your personal life."
Fletcher: "...I meant carbon dating."

Do you remember that turtle who died?

Mrs Raby: "I"m going to say your name and a word and you have to translate it to German. Ok?
Erin. Annoying."
*Everyone laughs*
Mrs Raby: "I didn't do it on purpose! What's your middle name, Jenny?"
Jenny: "Elizabeth... why?"
Mrs Raby: "I just met a woman named Jennifer Susan. That's my daughter's name too!"

Matt: "How do you spell 'Petri Dish'?"
*Mrs Walker writes on the board*: "Peti."

Caity: "What time does the bell go?"
Jenny: "Dunno."
*5 minutes later*
Jenny: "What time does the bell go?"
Caity *Without hesitation*: "20 to"

*Elective choices advice Angus + NOSE GUY!! style.*
Angus: "I know it's the last 10 minutes of the day so I'm going to get some audience participation going. Who here finds some subjects we study in maths pretty useless? I mean, when are you going to use Pythagora's Theorem in the future?"
NOSE GUY!!: "...We're using it next week for our trials."

Note to self: NOSE GUY!! has 6th Period free on a Tuesday.

The Did You Know Section...

Jenny: "Did you know... Only male birds can go "Twit" and only female birds can go "Twoo". They're actually in a duet together."
Mrs Golder: "What if it's bisexual?"

Geordie: "Did you know if you peel a banana taking the bottom thing off there won't be any string thing?"
Mrs Raby: "NO! DON'T DO THAT! YOU NEED A LITTLE HANDLE!"

S.S. Merewether Milky

*After walking in the classroom and finding no one in the front row:*
Mrs Raby: "Why are you moving so far away from me? Back row, move here."
*Back row laughs*
Mrs Raby: "Haha, no I'm serious."
Jenny: "Are you really that lonely?"
Mrs Raby: "Loaded?"
...it'd explain a few things.

Mrs Scollay: "Kelby, use your calculator."
Kelby: "I didn't bring it."
Mrs Scollay: "If you go for a driving lesson, do you forget to take the car?"

Jenny: "Why are you wearing all that black."
Mrs Raby: "I'm turning Goth. I'm getting lots of piercings on the weekend."

"I know nothing about Chemistry. One thing I do know is not to teach it without the Mona Lisa of Science. My best friend... I don't have many friends... Second best! Calculator is my best friend." - Mrs Walker

*Mr Sajko sitting in a low chair...*
Mr Sajko: "Sitting in a chair like this gives you a whole new perspective of the world. *Looks straight at Jenny* I bet you're glad you're wearing trousers."

Mrs Walker: "Lithium is gorgeous. It's one of the most reactive of the metals."
Trent: "Don't all the metals in the left column?"
Mrs Walker: "Trent, you're gorgeous."
Stick: "You're in Trent!"

Jenny: "When does the bell go?"
Saxon: "Half an hour."
Millie: "What?!"
Saxon: "Wait, no... 10 minutes."

Mrs Raby: "Jenny, come and read your writing out."
Jenny: "In German?"
Mrs Raby: "...yes."
Jenny: "*Blah blah blah* ... Viele Gruesse, Yenny. I mean Jenny!"
(Note, in German you say J as a Y)

*Jenny covers up "The Mou"*
Millie: "It's ok. I can't read."

Mrs Raby: "You get hayfever from pollen, dust..."
Max: "Hay."
Jenny: "Even cats. Wait, no... that's cat allergy."

"No matter what we make. We've still made the same thing." - Mrs Walker. (I really hit my full stop button hard then...)

Mrs Raby: "[A member of staff] doesn't like exchanges. There's nothing I can do about it unless I put a bomb under her/his chair. Don't you dare repeat that! I will know!"

Yeah, that's right. "The Mou" tells you things that it's not actually supposed to.

Last post for a while. TREASURE THIS ONE WHILE YOU CAN!

I guess I should have told you to treasure it at the beginning...oops. Oh well. You'll live.

...for now.

Smell You Later

Jenny: "Where's Abu Dhabi?"
Mrs Raby: "Isn't that in Saudi Arabia? Why?" (It's not, it's in The United Arab Emirates)
Jenny: "Oh, I just asked because we're stopping over there on the way to France, Germany and England."
Mrs Raby: "The way you said that was funny."
Jenny: "You spent ages talking to Sam about where his SISTER goes and you don't care about me! I WANT ATTENTION! *Bangs hands on desk*"
Mrs Raby: "I hadn't noticed."

Mrs Golder: "You were talking!"
Stick: "What? No, I wasn't."
Mrs Golder: "You were sitting there talking to yourself!"

Mrs Raby: "DEAN! YOU'RE BACK! Every day you've been away I've called out your name so today I didn't and you're back!"
Max: "The crazy antics of this classroom, you wouldn't believe it."

Jenny: "Why were you laughing all throughout my speech?"
Emily: "I couldn't look at you for half of your speech because it was so out of character for you to use such big words. It wasn't you making that speech!"

Mrs Raby: "I'd never been behind the wheel of a car before the age of 23...oh, wait. Once. I drove my boyfriends car into the North Sea... He still talks to me. Anyway! You'd all catch buses if I was in charge of this country. AND! You'll all be speaking German!"

Emily: "My hands are shaking."
Jenny: "Mine aren't..."
Emily: "STOP THAT!"
Sophie: "Hahah yeah, stop not moving."

Mrs Scollay told everyone to be quiet during the test, but then when she came to my table she asked me how I was going. So... I wonder who Mrs Scollay's favourite is?

"...I feel really geeky talking about Neopets whilst solving a Rubix Cube." - Jenny, talking about Neopets whilst solving a rubix cube.

Jenny: "So how old was the naked lady you were drawing yesterday?"
Caity: "30 something..."
Mr Priestley joins in: "Does she get paid well?"
Caity: "She was there for 3 hours so probably."
Mr Priestley: "I'd want like $300, maybe $3000 if children were drawing me."
Rhiannon: "What about $10,000?"
Mr Priestley: "Hey, I'd stand up naked right now. Except...it'd be difficult to explain what that has to do with Urban Growth and Development."
*Jenny resists the urge to make a crude comment*

Jenny: "Oh, this is my stop."
Millie: "Good luck. I mean in avoiding all the rapists and stuff..."
Jenny: "The rapists from HSPA! *Looks at random Year 7 HSPA kid called James* You're going to grow up to be a rapist."
I really hope that that kid isn't the type of kid who takes career advice from strangers.

I was at the hospital the other day visiting a sick relative when this family wearing masks walk through the waiting room. The mother of the family says to the nurse "I'd like to see my holiday snaps now!" and then follows her family into a little door at the side of the room. My mother and I exchanged glances...
A little later on a nurse goes through the little door. As it swings open we hear a Doctor say "Yes, it is swine flu." and then the door closed again.

Yeah, I was standing thiiiiiiiiiis far away from people with Swine Flu. That makes me famous by association apparently! Woot!

Tanzanians On the Moon

Jenny: "We went to England when I was 3 and we'd been visiting so many relatives... One morning Dad sent me in to wake Dougy up, he said that we were going to see Big Ben. So, I ran in and jumped on Dougy's bed shouting "COME ON DOUGLAS! WE'RE GOING TO SEE UNCLE BIG BEN! My uncle, the clock."
Mrs Greenland: "We can see the family resemblance."

*We see some Ambulances at a traffic light*
Millie: "Hey! They know where the accident is."

Jenny: "...That is the accident."

Millie: "Oh! Right! They don't stop at traffic lights, they go straight through!"

Sophie: "Blue jumper, not jacket. There's a difference."
Jenny: "You're a difference."
Sophie: "Your face is a difference."
Emily and Millie in unison: "What?"

Millie: "There are only two answers to everything. 42 or Violence."
*Sophie whacks Millie*: "No! Violence is never the answer!"

Jenny: "Has -your- brother even stolen any of your clothes?"
Caity: "No, but he did brush his hair with my brush once. I sterilised it because I didn't want to brush my hair with red hair."

Trent: "Dean was in Ireland the other day."

Jenny: "How'd he get there?"
Trent: "I dunno... drove?"

*Jenny turns to Rhiannon*: "England and Ireland are completely separate right? How could someone drive there?"

Rhiannon: "Maybe there's a bridge?"

Mrs Golder: "What topic are we going to do?"

Fletcher *Quietly*: "History..."

Jenny: "Our Science test is in two weeks."
Stick: "Woah! When'd you find that out?"

Jenny: "She just said it then where there was a dog running around the classroom."

Stick: "...There was a dog running around the classroom?"

(Yes, there had been.)

Mrs Raby: "Doll Domination. That's a stupid name for a band!"

Sam: "It's the name of the Pussy Cat Doll Tour!"
Mrs Raby: "Oh...well... That's a stupid name for a tour too."

Keiran: "Ich gehe in die Stadt."
*Mrs Raby gasps*

Keiran: "What?! What'd I do?!"
Mrs Raby: "Nothing. I was looking at my pens, trying to decide which one to use."
*Class laughs*
Mrs Raby: "DON'T LAUGH AT ME! LAUGH WITH ME!!"

*Looking at three sentences on the board*
Some kid: "I agree with the first one and the last two."
Mrs Raby: "So you agree with all of them. What have I been doing for 3 years? That makes me sad. I won't sleep tonight."

Pierce-a-Tron

Jenny: "Is the actor who played Mr Brady dead?"
Mum: "Yes. He was gay."
Jenny: "...That doesn't necessarily mean he's dead."

Sophie and David Tennant are like best friends. Her old friend from primary school has a grandmother living in Scotland across the lake from David Tennant's grandmother!! How close are they?
What really is amazing is my Doctor Who obsessed pal Laura actually found that amazing and will track down Sophie's old primary school friend's grandmother's address, and post something to the little old lady who lives across the lake and ask her to get her grandson's autograph for a poor little Australian girl.

Mr Priestley: "We're going to watch a show that was on TV last night."
Sarah: "Is this the show that was on at the same time as that other show?"

Caity is not a slut.

Jenny: "Wow! You remembered your glasses today!"
Caity: "Yes, I remembered my glasses today. They're a bit dirty though. I think I need new ones."

"THE FIRES AND BRIMSTONE OF HELL! THE FIRES OF DEATH WILL COME FOR YOU!" - Mrs Golder (Talking about scaring Aboriginal children into believing in Christianity. Believe me?)

Jenny has a wonderful talent for guessing the colour of peoples underwear.

Jenny: "Can I marry your brother to get a red head kid one day?"
Caity: "I spose. My Mum has red hair but I don't think Dad would like it if you married her."

*After hearing the mention of the excursion*
Jenny: "When IS the excursion?"
Mrs Greenland, Millie and Emily altogether: "Tomorrow."
Jenny: "...Oh dear."

At 12.30 last night, my cat was running wildly up and down the house. I got out of bed to see what was wrong with her. She ran into the kitchen. I switched on the light and followed her. She was sitting in front of her dishes. I picked her up and moved her a centimetre closer so she would eat it. Once she began I tried to go back to bed but everytime I tried to move she would stop eating and look at me pathetically.
I think my cat is scared of the dark. This is funny because MY CAT CAN SEE IN THE DARK!!!

I got very good marks for my Geography test today. There are a few questions I'm surprised at getting full marks for.
For example:

Identify 4 negative impacts of the increasing urbanisation of Australia's coastline. (4 Marks)
Increased population means increased pollution and rubbish. It also means development which interferes with the natural order. People will go fishing and so the water will be overfished, then you must import more fish. Development will also ruin the serenity of Australia's beaches.

What does Photo 1 tell us about the history of Catherine Hill Bay? (2 marks)
Photo 1 shows a working Jetty with something on it I can't make out. If I could see it, I'm sure I could answer this question better.
It also has what appears to be a cart laden with coal. Showing Catherine Hill Bay used to be a mining town.

Go the Geography faculty for being easy on me!

I almost regret stealing their clipboard...

A rock is a chicken.

*Writing about an artist in PDM who takes photos of bridges and dogs*
Jenny: "Robert Billington was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he. He called for a dog and a bridge and some puppies times three. He took some photos of Australian landmarks and then went to the WC."
Others: "WC?"
Jenny: "It was in another Old King Cole parody I read once. WC stands for Water Closet...toilet."
Sophie: "Where does the U come from?"

Jenny: "Nyet."
Mrs Raby: "Are you right? You're speaking Russian."

Jenny, talking to Zooty on the bus: "Actually a break up really makes you feel loved. Your friends are just... so supportive and loving."
Emily, interrupts: "Hey! Jenny! Is that bus driver wearing lip gloss?!"
Zooty: "That's supportive?"

Sophia: "Jenny, do you wear a hat?"
Jenny: "No... my hair is naturally kinky. It keeps poking me in the eye!"

"Cavemen had condoms? But why are there so many people?" - Rhiannon

Geordie: "Do you want the work on a piece of paper?"
Mrs Raby: "No, I want it in the air. I'll catch the words. *Does some weird actions*"

*After Caity was fiddling with Jenny's hair*
Jenny: "Can I have my hair back to normal now?"
Caity: "You look fine! You look normal. More normal than usual! No! I mean you look good. Gooder!"

Jenny: "Let's follow the rainbow!"
Mum: "It'll only lead us to Kansas."
Jenny: "...Don't you mean Oz?"
Mum: "No. We're already in Oztralia."
Jenny: "...You and Dad have been married far too long."

This post was written on the back of a dead horse hanging off a cliff.

Patrick, The Butterfly Head.

It has been an awfully long time between posts and I apologise. I haven't been seeing the more humorous of my friendlies these holidays and the ones I have seen I haven't written down the funny things they say (or in Sophie's case, her funnies... not that I've seen Sophie these holidays. Hmph.) So anyway... here's The Mou.

Jenny *After watching a Ronald McDonald teach children fire safety on an ad*: "Whats our fire escape plan?"
Mum: "Depends where the fire is. Jump out the nearest window."

Trent: "Who sleeps on their roofs? I don't sleep on my roof. You don't sleep on your roof. Who sleeps on their roof?"
Jenny: "Possums."
Trent: "Who stabs possums?"

I had three...lovely (sarcasm)...dear (more sarcasm)... little (no sarcasm)... children staying with me for a few days these holidays. They broke a coffee table and a little toy bus that had survived my brother and I, they woke me up EVERY morning by screaming, they threw tantrums, they attacked me in public places (One of them was trying to drag me into a toilet saying "I'm going to take you into the toilet, I'm going to flush you down the toilet."), they're stupid, rude and just all round horrible.

Examples:
Daniel (4): "What's 30 + 100?"
Jenny: "130"
Daniel: "There's no such number! *Kicks me, because I'm giving him a piggy back at the time.*

As soon as Mikayla (2) got to our house, she ran straight for the cat, Adelaide (6, in cat years 42) and began "patting" her. As hard as she could. She was hitting my cat. MY cat! By the end of our visit Mikayla didn't know that cat's go "Meow" she thought they went "Hisssss!". She even had a hand action to go with it. Isn't. That. Just. Cute.

One of my Aunts: "Here, James. Try some Avocado Dip. Phil makes this from scratch!"
James (7): "NO! It looks like green spew!" And then he continued to run around the house.

The visit of these children prompted my father to have a Father to Daughter talk to me.

"I'm not a children person, and I don't think you are either. If you ever do decide to have children, only have one. Because the second child is so much harder."

Thanks Dad. I'm YOUR second child.

For all of those who find my father funny, check out his "hip, down and groovy with it FB (Facebook)" page. He's very proud of having a number of friends in the double digit column.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=1238684996&ref=nf

I, personally, think my mother is a much more humorous.

Jenny: "Are collar bones usually so prominent? *Gesturing to my own*"
Mum: "Only in someone Anorexic."
Jenny: "... Thanks Mum."

In the order I wrote it all down in...

Emily: "Did you know cats are less likely to get tick paralysis because they groom themselves?"
Jenny: "Haha, sucks to be a dog."

Emily: "It doesn't look like much."
Jenny: "You don't look like much."
Emily: "But I pack quite a punch."

Emily: "You're older than me, you'll die first. Especially if you get run over by someone who looks like your friends."
Jenny: "Yeah, especially if it looks like one of my friends who has cancer but really wants to outlive me."
Emily: "So, if I get cancer, beware."

Jenny: "What's the plural for moose?"
Mrs Raby: "Meese."
Jenny: "No, that can't be right. Look! There's a herd of meese! It just doesn't sound right."
Millie: "Argh! There's a herd of mooses trampling me!"

"Sodomy's a word? I thought you made it up... What does it mean?" - Sophie (we didn't explain it to her).

The other day I was collecting all the spare 5c and 10c coins that I could to get $6 to pay someone back for something they bought me, but in the most annoying way possible because they have been a real jerk. For any of the clever people who realise that by doing this, I'm actually being a jerk, I would like you to note that I'm doing it in a really creative way! =D Unlike them...jerk.

I would also like to publically thank those who gave their shrapnel for such a good cause. Special mention for Laura, who donated $1.10 (you really need to count your money more often).

Jenny *trying to scab money of Mrs Raby*: "What if I told you my cat was sick?"
Mrs Raby: "Then I'd say kill it and eat it."

Mrs Bro gave me 10c! ...I lied about what it was for, but still! Mrs Bro is nice.

Jenny: "The people I stalk always seem to leave school."
*Guy I'm talking to cracks up*
Jenny: "I mean as Year 12's!"

To get back at the Geography faculty for letting Mr Perkins be in charge of Year 10 Geography... I stole a clipboard. All those who agree with me, please, do NOT hand your clipboards back.

That'll teach 'em! (Shame on everyone who has already given theirs back)

Dougy: "The train from Chippendin to Frankston's free."
Mum: "Hahaha, not technically darling."
Dougy: "There's no where to buy a ticket! Where are you supposed to buy a ticket?! The imaginary ticket man?!"
Dad: "You can only get imaginary tickets from the imaginary ticket man, don't be silly."

I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Easter! May your mouths be absolutely covered in chocolate.
And I hope that Amanda and Millie have a great Easter despite their chocolate intolerance. For, we must remember. Easter is not just about the chocolate. It is also about the Easter Bilby.

On a serious note, bilbies are endangered animals and you should donate money so they become not endangered, magically, through the proceeds, somehow.

Fegenfut

Jenny: "I'm a woman."
*Rhiannon, Trent and Jake all look at her oddly*
Rhiannon: "No... really?"

"Don't ridicule me! I'm talking to my Ipod." - Emily.

Hide and Seek throughout Target and Big W is a LOT of fun. Seriously, try it sometime.

You know what else is fun? Having someone who works at Target to talk to you about male tupperware parties, alcohol, lingerie/linen parties and spoilt only childen. Then when you catch them shopping at Big W later, they wink at you.
New friends are great. =D

Jenny *Talking to Emily in the cinema again*: "If you make me wear a dress like that to your wedding... I will hurt you."
Millie: "Who says you'll be going to her wedding?"
Jenny: "Are you kidding? I'm the Maid of Honour."
*For the rest of the day we made jokes about Emily's wedding and future baby.*

Jenny: "You know I'd hate to have the same name as my mother in law."
Rhiannon: "Everyone has the same name as their mother in laws."
Jenny: "Not if the mother in law is dead... hehehehehehehe"
Emily: "So, if one day your partner says to you "We've been dating for 14 years, why don't you want to get married?" He's going to have to ditch you or kill his mother."
Jenny: "Well, it'd be a good way to see if he was serious about me."


"Men are more like women than women are like women." - Nina, being deep.


"It's about time the wall came down!" - Dean, reading English less succesfully than he reads German.

"Tuck your shirt in! I don't like tucked in shirts actually. They're better tucked out." - Frau Raby

Jenny: "Wow, I'm emotional today."
Emily: "Here! Let me push the emotions out of you! *Pushes Jenny off the seat*"

Jenny: "Wow! Your room is orange! And you have a book shelf!"
Sophie: "Yeah... I noticed."

This blog was published at Emily's house. (The voices told me to say so or she'd eat my laptop.)

Hug Rapist

Jenny: "S&M is Sadism and Masochism."
Emily: "Jenny knows from her own experience."
Jenny: "You're just saying that because you're not getting any."
Amanda: "Well! You're not getting any HUGS!

Cat + Harmonica = Pain

Guess which cat attacks me everytime I try to play the mouth organ! xP (Taking a dig at Emily's awesome blog http://www.emilyscookiesncream.blogspot.com/)

Jenny: "...How'd I get here? I was just standing over there. I don't remember walking here..."
Laura: "Maybe you're dead? You're pale enough."
Jenny *Turns to Paul*: "Do I look dead to you?"
Paul: "No... you don't look dead to me."
Laura: "What? Why would she be really gay?"

Emily: "Jenny's a really violent Hug-Rapist."
Amanda: "Imagine if she was a real rapist."

Jenny: "When I was at the home visiting Grandma yesterday, this little old lady grabbed hold of me...she was really strong. I thought she was going to cook me in her gingerbread oven."
*Random Year 11 turns around and looks at us*: "Gingerbread oven? What?"

*Trying to find a seat in the dark because Sophie turned up late xP*
Emily: "If I fall on Jenny then she'll fall on Sophie and we'll all fall."
Jenny: "Like the Domino Effect!"
Sophie: "Yes. Because getting to our seats is JUST like communism."

Jenny: "Who sings Simply The Best?"
Dad: "That black woman who was married to that man."
Jenny: "Oooh, Tina Turner."
*Mum stares disbelievingly*

Jenny: "I wonder if we could go backstage and find someone for an autograph."
Emily: "What would they sign?"
Jenny: "A programme!"
Emily: "You don't have one."
Jenny: "That little old woman does. Do you think I could take her?"

"You're funny. You should be...funny...eaten..." - Jenny in one of her brightest moments.

Emily: "Gah! Where's the bus?"
Jenny: "Heeeere, bus bus bus bus busssy!"
*Bus comes around the corner*

Caity: "So the answer's 14."
Jenny: "What? No... 12 x 3 is 36."
Caity: "Oh right, haha. I thought it was 12 + 3"
Jenny: "..."

*Jenny pretending to talk to someone on the phone*: "Hello, what? YOU BITCH!"
Little old lady, taps her on the shoulder: "Excuse me, what school do you go to?"
*Emily and Jenny look at each other worriedly*: "Merewether High School."
LOL (Little Old Lady): "You've come a long way!"
*Jenny and Emily are relieved*

Later on that same lady wished us a good trip home. If the bus crashed, we would have survived because we were the only ones on the bus with the blessings of an old woman.

Man Elephant

"Dugongs are the koalas of the sea. They swim around eating sea grass and get hit by boats." - Mr Priestley.

I went to a party last night, THEY HAD A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!! I DIDN'T THINK THEY EXISTED, I DIDN'T KNOW AUSTRALIANS COULD GET THOSE! I THOUGHT ONLY RICH AMERICANS COULD!

Mrs Raby: "Star Wars is a fantasy. Not really into it."
Chris: "It's a Sci Fi!"
Mrs Raby: "It's a fantasy with another name."
Jenny: "No, it's a true story. It happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away."

"What day is it next week?" - Jenny

*Watching Millie looking through a window in a darkened room*
Jenny: "Woah, that's spooky."
Emily: "Yeah."
Jenny: "She'd make a good skeleton. Do you want to cut her flesh off?"

Synchronised "Aaaaaawwwwwwws"!

MIKEY!!: "Look! It's a horsey!"
Emily: "Oh, yeah... you don't expect to see a horse on a racing track."
Chris: "What if it's a car track?"
Jenny: "Idiot! Haven't you ever heard of horse power?"

"I used to say to my son, Eminem thought he was a smartie, but he's just an M&M." - Mrs Raby

Jenny: "I made up this synchronised swimming routine when I was little. Only... it was just me doing it. So, it wasn't synchronised swimming..."
Emily: "It was just swimming?"

Chris is just as good if not better than a brick wall at being a brick wall.

McGooseberry

THE PENCIL CASE UTILISERS! (Note, Millie. I haven't forgotten about the performance thingy. We're still doing it!)

"My toothpaste is normal flavoured." - Caity


Jenny: "Don't you have an early morning period?"
Chris: "No, that was last year for IPT."
Jenny: "You still do IPT... You're sposed to be there now."
Chris: "...Oh."

Jenny: "When you make that face you remind me of..."
Caity: "A GOLDFISH!"

"It'd be embarrassing at the hospital... "I had an accident with my wheely-bin!" It'd be hard to explain." - Mrs Morrison teaching us about Physical Health.

"Music brought to you by the 1960's." - Mrs Golder's about the music that was playing freakily in her room that she'd put on.

Jenny: "Hitler and my grandfather have the same birthday."
Rhiannon: "You hit on your grandfather?!"
Everyone involved in conversation shouts in unison: "HITLER!"

*Rhiannon and Jenny fighting their way through a group of sevys to get to Roll Call, Mr B comes to their rescue!*
Mr B: "Year Seven! Which side do you line up on? There are seniors coming through!"
Jenny: "Yeaaaah!"

*In German, out the front of the class reading a thingy we'd written in German."
Dean: "Nein, das ist...auf?"
Jenny: "Out, as in Raus. Only with a T."
Dean: "That's not German!"

*Completing a table to figure out how many hours spent physically activiting*
Jenny: "Damn! Now Will and I have broken up I miss out on at least 2 hours of physical activity each weekend..."
Caity: "What? What have you and your boyfriend and physical...OOOOOOH!"

*Talking to Dougy on the phone at 8.30pm on a Friday*
Dougy: "Is Jennifer still at school?"
Mum: "...No dear. She gets out early on a Friday."

Jenny: "I'm just going to stay up to see the dead people tributes on the Oscars."
Mum: "I can't understand why you're not a goth. You'd be really good at it!"

Best Gift Ever = Stick with Feathers stuck on it.

*To the tune of the "Emily Apology Song"*

Emily Emily Emily
It is your B'Day
You better appreciate this sooooooong
Or I will cut your fay! ...ce.

*ahem*
Seriously though, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!

Reasons we love Emily: She laughs at EVERYTHING I do. Whether it be...tripping over, being overdramatic, running around the school with a butterknife or speaking in various accents, or indeed BEING an accent.

And also, she comments on every single Mou post and badmouths all those who don't. That is loyalty people. That is loyalty. If you wanna get back at her for badmouthing you, please, feel free to use the comment button...FEEL. Free.

"I don't like our science teacher. Wouldn't it be nice if she had a heart attack?" - Rhiannon's secret bloodthirst.

Jenny: *To Trent* "That's Sophie."
Trent: "I know."
Jenny: *To Sophie* "That's Trent."
Sophie: "Thanks. We've been at the same school in the same year for almost 4 years now! Of course I know who he is."
Jake: "...I couldn't actually remember Sophie's name. Thanks Jenny."
Sophie: "WE WERE IN THE SAME CLASS LAST YEAR!"

"The Jews think Jesus may have existed, but he wasn't the god of son." - Jenny on religion.

*Jenny on a kidnapping mission*
"Oooh! Look! PDM Rooms! I wonder what we can do in here *slams door shut and locks it*... Ooooh! Look! Colourful chalk! A chalk stealers dream!!"
Emily: "Aww... no orange."
Jenny: "Oh well... Let's write "I stole COLOURFUL chalk on the board numerous times!! *Picks up piece of chalk to do so* Wait... it's a pastel."
*Emily...laughs...lots...And I mean lots...*

NESSQUOTE!

*Repeatedly whacks ruler on desk, looks up to see Ness staring at her.*
Jenny: "What? It's wonky."
Ness: "I'd hate to see what you do to gay people!"

I'm a fish.

Sam: "We had to go into the sauna naked in Germany."
Mrs Raby: "Do you have any photos of that?"

Mrs Greenland: "Anyone who looks like they're not paying attention will read out loud."
Jenny: *In an undertone* "I like reading! I wonder if that wo..."
Mrs Greenland: "Jenny! You start."

"Global warming! That means your money's going to be useless. Spend it now! On a German Trip!!" - Mrs Raby, why is she wasting her time teaching? She should go into sales!

Millie: "For Emily's party... can we bring a friend?"
Jenny: "Who would YOU bring? No! I didn't mean that!"

"Complete and unabridged... but the castle on the front doesn't have a bridge! How can it be complete without a bridge?!" - Reason #24 why Trent should be murdered in his sleep. (Even though it's hilarious in a Duck to a Duck kind of way)

*Points to a picture of Freddie on my folder*
"Is that Paul McCartney?" - Reason #112, 000, 000 why Ashley should be murdered whilst awake. (In a very very very painful way.)

"I don't get it... is this fiction?" - Rhianna on Dracula.

Jenny: "He's so unfriendly, but he's still awesome."
Amy: "He's unfriendly in a nice kind of way."
Jenny: "..."

BAARTZ WON! WOOOOT! I saw it all from the Norris stands, whilst making a socialogical study of the diffusion of responsibility. I had fun at the Swimming Carnival.

Mr Priestley: "I'm trying to give you pizza to motivate you."
Jenny: "Does that motivate YOU, Caity?"
Caity: "No...maybe it motivates Fatties?"

Get Off My Lawn

Mum: "Oh! You're wearing your Christmas top."
Jenny: "...It's Christmas Day."

*Opens door*
Police Officer: "Sorry to disturb, but the lady next door has accused you of eating her cat."
Grandma June: "No, no... I'm having hot dogs tonight.

A moment now to complain of a certain daughter of a VET who not only locks her cats in CUPBOARDS for MORE than 12 hours, but also leaves FOUR of her cats alone in their cattery with a SNAKE! And then goes on holidays for 3 weeks to THAILAND WHERE THEY PROBABLY EAT CATS!!! I mean, really... it's not very nice is it?

Mum: "Will you go put ham on the table please? Wait, is it safe?"
Jenny: "We have a grown man, a teenage boy and a cat roaming around the place. No, it's not safe."
Mum: "Hmm... Ah! Let me teach you something that you can use when you're a grown woman with children of your own. Gladwrap. Grown men, teenage boys and cats can't handle it."
Jenny: "...Neither can I."

"I don't plan to see myself dead in my lifetime." - Jenny's wisdom.

Coming soon to a school near you (or...not if you live a long way away from the school, or if you're currently overseas...):
THE TRAGEDY OF BEING GLUTEN INTOLERANT.
A tragedy, based on a true story and her plight of being gluten intolerant. Performed by Jenny and Millie. A ONE OFF performance people, probably, unless we get an encore...
We may also do more in the future, someone remind me to discuss that with Millie.

*Things You'll Hear When Dougy's Driving*
"No! Douglas! The left side of the road! THE LEFT!!!!!"

Dougy won't be driving for a while... He left home...sometime over the holidays... I'm a fantastic sister. I can't remember when my own brother left home. Anyway...

He joined the Royal Australian Air Force. To become a cook.
TAFE is just what you'd be expecting someone who wanted to become a cook to go to...