Don't Oppress My Lemons

Aaah Christmas. The time of year when you hear from the relatives and friends you don't usually speak to for various reasons. We got a Christmas Card and a letter from one of my Mum's old friends from school. She's a real, true witch. Who has a Circle and sisters and who celebrates Beltane and has a partner called Rat. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! (Hehe, it rhymes).

I answered the phone to hear someone say:
"Hi yeah. Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday and all those holidays celebrated throughout the year."
"...Uncle Mick?"
Yes. It was my Uncle Mick. Heard the stories? Ask me some other time, I'm not publishing his exploits on the internet.

We even got a Christmas Card from Uncle Peter, my Grandmother's cousin or something.
"To All
Uncle Peter"
He added a word this year! Last year it was just Peter.

Mr Grogan: "Merry Christmas."
Jenny: "Happy New Year."
Amanda: "...Happy Valentine's Day!"
What about Australia Day Amanda? Hmm?

Emily: "My Mum's friends with the butcher."
Sophie: "So's my Dad! *pause* His name's Laurie."

Chris: "It's 12.43."
Jenny: "No it isn't. It's 12.43"
Chris: "...That's what I said."
Jenny: "Oooh... I thought you said 12.34. I'm not audially dyslexic."

PE the other week (One of the classic things I forgot to mention at some point.) Our teams chant was :
"Who's skillful? SOPHIE! AIM FOR THE HEADS!"
This is because Sophie kicked a ball, into her own head. At the time we were playing against people who we weren't all that fond of, so we gave up trying to get the ball into the goals, we began to AIM FOR THE HEADS! All in all a very enjoyably PE lesson.

Amanda: "I can smell through my mouth."
Jenny: "What happens when you get morning breath?"

Dean: "Can I go get my assignment?"
Mr Farquharson: "Can you do WHAT to your salmon?!"

Mr Donaldson at our year assembly: "And congratulations to ***** (I've forgotten whose name it was) who has received a Distinction in Visual Arts."
***** after she got off the stage: "I don't even do Visual Arts."

Jenny: "I'm really violent this morning, I headbutted a pole on the bus, I've tried to kill Amanda, I've tried to poke Georgia's spine out... and we're still only in Roll Call."

At Lunch yesterday, Emily said I would one day be a very good actress. At this I began accepting an Oscar in an American accent... for the rest of lunch I entertained Emily and Amanda with various accents.
Emily told me to mention this on The Mou (Which is what I'm doing now, WOAH!). I sat down on one of the seats and began pretending to type out an entry whilst dictacting outloud in some sort of accent.
Ness found fault with my typing.
Ness, dear Ness... I WAS NO WHERE NEAR A KEYBOARD!
Some people! I mean really...

I would now like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy, and enjoyable Australia Day. (Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year, Teacher's Strikes, Valentine's Day, Birthday, Solstice, Easter, Newcastle Show, Labour Day, Banking Holiday, School Holidays, Anniversarys, Wedding, Engagement, First Born Child, Deepest Sympathies, Breakups, Recitals and Tennis Tournaments.)