Schnitzel Von Krumm!!

Jenny: "Dad! We've missed the first episode of the new series of The Big Bang Theory!!"
Dad: "How?"
Jenny: "Well, I was out to dinner... and you were in Cambodia."


Jenny: "Do you like Taylor Swift?"
Tory: "Fuck no! Do you think I'm gay?"
(It's funny because Tory is a very flamboyant gay.)


*Phone Rings*
Mum: "Hello?"
? : "Hey, have I ever had chicken pox?"
Mum: "Who is this?"
? : "Doug! Who else would it be!?!"


*Watching a sad movie, Didi looked like she was crying*
Jenny: "Are you ok?"
Didi: "Yeah, I didn't get to cry the first time I saw this because I was wearing mascara."



*Taking Chris home, approximately 1 block from his house*
Jenny: "So is it left or right from this direction?"
Chris: "Right... I think... No, yeah... Definitely right."
*We drive past his street which was actually on the left* (In his defence, it was dark.)



A questionare type thing filled out by Trent at the age of four:
My favourite sport is computers. I am not good at it.
I go to school by poo.
My favourite food is that guy .*arrow leads to a picture of a man*.
The last one is my favourite because it shows that either he was a very advanced four year old... or he's a somewhat retarded sixteen year old because he still makes similar jokes.



*Visiting the local TAFE to pick up a book*
Jenny: "Do you remember me?"
Office Lady: "How could I forget? I remember you when you were this high (gestures about 60cm) running up and down the corridors..."
Millie: "I can see Jenny doing that. I can see her doing that now."



Bon Voyage Sophie!



*Dad actually did this*
Customer *on the phone*: "Hi Graeme, look. That steel beam I bought off your company... it's 100mm too short."
Dad: "Oh no! Is it 50mm short at both ends or just 100mm short at the one end?"



*Watching Foxtel at my brothers but it's time to leave*
Jenny: "It's ok, I can just record it."
Mum: "What are you recording it on?"
Jenny: "It's Foxtel, Mum."
Mum: "Oh, ok. You'll have to set it to stop recording in an hour or so though."
Jenny: "..."