Schnitzel Von Krumm!!

Jenny: "Dad! We've missed the first episode of the new series of The Big Bang Theory!!"
Dad: "How?"
Jenny: "Well, I was out to dinner... and you were in Cambodia."


Jenny: "Do you like Taylor Swift?"
Tory: "Fuck no! Do you think I'm gay?"
(It's funny because Tory is a very flamboyant gay.)


*Phone Rings*
Mum: "Hello?"
? : "Hey, have I ever had chicken pox?"
Mum: "Who is this?"
? : "Doug! Who else would it be!?!"


*Watching a sad movie, Didi looked like she was crying*
Jenny: "Are you ok?"
Didi: "Yeah, I didn't get to cry the first time I saw this because I was wearing mascara."



*Taking Chris home, approximately 1 block from his house*
Jenny: "So is it left or right from this direction?"
Chris: "Right... I think... No, yeah... Definitely right."
*We drive past his street which was actually on the left* (In his defence, it was dark.)



A questionare type thing filled out by Trent at the age of four:
My favourite sport is computers. I am not good at it.
I go to school by poo.
My favourite food is that guy .*arrow leads to a picture of a man*.
The last one is my favourite because it shows that either he was a very advanced four year old... or he's a somewhat retarded sixteen year old because he still makes similar jokes.



*Visiting the local TAFE to pick up a book*
Jenny: "Do you remember me?"
Office Lady: "How could I forget? I remember you when you were this high (gestures about 60cm) running up and down the corridors..."
Millie: "I can see Jenny doing that. I can see her doing that now."



Bon Voyage Sophie!



*Dad actually did this*
Customer *on the phone*: "Hi Graeme, look. That steel beam I bought off your company... it's 100mm too short."
Dad: "Oh no! Is it 50mm short at both ends or just 100mm short at the one end?"



*Watching Foxtel at my brothers but it's time to leave*
Jenny: "It's ok, I can just record it."
Mum: "What are you recording it on?"
Jenny: "It's Foxtel, Mum."
Mum: "Oh, ok. You'll have to set it to stop recording in an hour or so though."
Jenny: "..."

The Locker Ghost

Jenny: "Ok, you think one iron table won't be enough? I'll take two."
Dad: "That'll give you constipation."
Jenny: "Oh, crap."
Dad: "No, you won't."

Alana: "Damn you chlorophyll!!"
*A few minutes later*
Alana: "I looooooooove lettuce."

Jenny: "I'll have tea with milk and two and a half sugars please."
*Goes back to her desk and hears the following from a distance*
Dean: "What... how do you get half a sugar?"
Fletcher: "I don't even know..."

Lucy: "Ok, the girl you're about to meet... she's a bit... different. There's a rumour about her having an orgy with five men from the air force... She's awesome though."
*Later on, having been in the presence of this girl for five minutes*
Girl: "I don't like sharing."
Jenny: "That's not what I heard."

*After watching some Year 10 girl fall over*
Jenny: "Wow, she's really dirty."
Emily: "And her clothes aren't that clean either!"

My father's been in Cambodia/Laos for a couple of weeks... I've got two text messages from him. The first one said: "I just remembered Trent's birthday isn't until March... tell him he'll keep."
And the second one: "Not ALL of my text messages have mentioned Trent... oh."

I apologise for the shortness of this post. I would've waited for it to be a bit longer but Sophie scared me into doing it today. We all know how scary Sophie can be.

NESS QUOTE!!!
"I got chased by a fish while on holiday. It had teeth."

DEVIL COW! (Hippy Early Bathday Em)

Yes, it's been a while. Sorry... but last year I was in the same class with all the same people and it would've just been boring. This year I'm with lots of different friends in lots of different classes so there'll be variety, yay!

*In the library*
Dean: "Look, little Germans!"
Mrs Raby: "Yep, little German students with a little German teacher."
Jenny: "Wow... they're so small... was I that small in Year 8?"
Dean: "You still are that small."

Mr Farquharson: "Has anyone here memorised the Periodic Table?"
*Horrified glances from most of the class*
Mr Farquharson: "If you have then I strongly suggest you get a life."

How do you describe the Hydrosphere? Wet.

I caught up with an old friend I hadn't spoken to since Year 2.
Jenny: "How've you been?! How's your family?!"
Shannin: "Well... my parents got divorced 8 years ago and my siblings have multiplied, I'm now one of seven..."
Jenny: "...Wow. How's your dog? She was a bit old when were in Year 1 though wasn't she?"
Shannin: "She ran away 6 years ago..."
Jenny: "Oh... and what about that lady who was going to teach us to crochet?"
Shannin: "Margie... she was lovely. She died 3 years ago."
Moral: STAY IN TOUCH*

Flick: "Anthropophagi means cannibal or man-eater"
Jenny: "She's an Anthropophagi, make you work more, make you spend more...etc"
*Ten minutes after class*
Jake (via text message): "Damn you! I have Man Eater in my head now!"

Jenny: "Is Ms. Taber here?"
Ms. Taber: "Yes, I'm Ms. Taber."
Jenny: "Oh, sorry. I've never had you before."
Ms. Taber: "That's ok. What can I do for you Jennifer?"
Jenny: "...That's scary."

You'll be pleased to know that after my disastrous attempt at bringing my own lunch to school... I ate it when I got home. I'd left it NOT in the kitchen but on the table next to where I'd put my bag that morning. So. Very. Close.

Jenny: "That's the second time I"ve seen a cockroach at this KFC!"
Mum: "Mm... we should really stick to the drive-in."

*Showing Mum a picture of Trent with his pretty new hair*
Jenny: "Mum, look at this."
*She stares blankly for a bit*
Mum: "Oh! Is that Trent when he was younger?"
Jenny: "No, that's Trent now."

When Dad saw my English text: "Oh, for he's a jolly good..."
Jenny: *Sighs audibly* "Othello..."

Mum: "Do you want to tell her the good news?"
Jenny: "What?"
Mum: "Well, you have a new Uncle and two new younger brothers."
Jenny: "WHAT?!"
Mum: "Your father made friends with a security guard. He gave us a mat and told us that our families are now joined. So, your father bought some stationary for his "brother's" kids and that meant that apparently because we cared, they were now our sons too."
Dad: "So you're not the youngest anymore."

Can anyone think of a decent Australian made film? Two people took up the challenge on Friday for me, but neither have got back to me yet.

Yes. It's impossible.