Another Night At Mercury's

THE DRAMA PERFORMANCE IS OVER!! ...It'll never be performed again. ='(
Most of the lines in the play will be forgotten by the end of the year...some of the lines were never learnt. Some people didn't know their own character names. It was gruelling, tough work but it was worth it just to hear one little line:

Daisy (Jenny's Character): "You sorted out your problems like grown men! I'm impressed... and surprised."
JOHN. Not Dave. JOHN!! (Jacob's Character): "Let's hope you're not the only chick impressed and surprised tonight."

Yes... that was the best line in the performance (in Jenny's opinion)...what does it say about the rest of it?

"You're not insane...just crazy." - Thanks Amanda. That makes it all so much better.

Laura (Year 10 bus friend): "Now, I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into having sex with your boyfriend."
*Jenny laughs so hard she hits her head on the buspole thingy with the button on it*

What Mrs Scollay Wrote On The Board: "2^3 x 2^2 = 4^5. What has Sally done wrong? Answer, She is a woman."

Trent: "Haha, you're a diligent student."

Siobhan to me: "What are you doing in here? You're not in our class. Wait...yes you are."
Josie: "This is English. You're not in our class.

"I feel like I'm having a baby from my Abdomen" - Laura (Year 10 bus friend)

Someone I've forgotten: "You know what's really cool? Putting petrol on a guitar, lighting it on fire and playing it with your teeth."
Jenny: "JIMI!!"
Amy: "...who?"
Jenny: "Jimi Hendrix."
Amy: "WHERE?!"

Jenny: "If you put white board marker over the other stuff it'll come off easier."
Mrs. Raby: "You've researched this haven't you?"

Ah, the passions that are aroused *slaps any hands held out* in 'The Mou'... the anger, the hilarity, the pain, the non-existant moustache, the AIDS, the Freddie "Most Awesome Creature to Ever Exist And I really Wish He was Alive and not OLD" Mercury, the envy, the EDGAR!! ...

"Envy?" I hear you ask, (that's right, my hearing's so good I can read your minds BEFORE THE THOUGHT HAS EVEN GOT THERE!)" Envy." I reply.

"What would I be envious about?" you ask again (Even though you haven't asked it yet). The fact that EMILY'S GETTING A TOUCH IPOD FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Thaaaaat's right. A touchpod. *slaps more hands*

Where's the Gecko?

Flick: "She just wants an excuse to touch you."
Chris: "As they all do."
Jenny: "Except everyone."
Chris: "...yeah."

"You've just got to laugh when a dog gets killed by a lawnmower..." - Dad, after watching a movie where a dog gets killed by a lawnmower.

Chris: "My Dad's Grandmother died..."
Jenny: "Oh...I'm sorry. How's your Dad handling it?"

Chris: "Er ist traurig, aber nicht zu traurig. (He is sad but not too sad)."

What Jenny Heard: "Er ist traurig, aber nicht suicidal-ich."


"I don't like my skin being green..." - Dean.

Mrs Raby: "I have a really annoying bird who lives outside my bedroom window. It keeps making these noises every morning...WOO WOO, WOO WOO"
Sam: "What do you do in a morning Frau Raby?"

"I forgot to write which Congruency Test I'd used at the end!! The cardinal sin of maths teaching!" - Mrs Scollay

More advice from "Great" Aunt Lucy

I'll teach you the basics of caring for a friend with alochol poisoning:
a) Find someone else to look after them.
b) If nobody can be found ...run.

Bankle

Amy: "I have kittens!!!"
Jenny: "But you don't have a cat!!!"

Do you have a body in your bag?

Reason No#571 Why Jenny Shouldn't Join The Army:

At Zone Empire, she ran into Rhiannon's gun. This action left a bruise (albeit tiny) on Jenny's nose.

Flick: "Ha! Mrs. Scollay got 3 and 5 mixed up."
Jenny: "Og! It's Graham Chapman back from the dead to teach us MATHS!!"

"You're missing out on a world of congruency!" - Mrs. Scollay.

Jenny: "I do up girls buttons and do boys buttons...unup...?"
Brittany: "Down dear."
Jenny: "Just because you're experienced enough to know the proper terminology..."

"Your ruler happened!!" - Chris, trying hard to get into The Mou.

Mrs Raby to Sam - "Put a dictionary in your manbag."

Stick: "You could rape them."
Jenny: "Why would he want to rape them?"
Stick: "Why wouldn't he?"
Jenny: "Because they're ugly."
Stick: "...You're more frank than me!!"

"If you're going to get Tattoos, get real ones!!" - Mr Farquharson telling Chris off for letting Amy and Flick draw on him.

"You have to put your name on your popper or someone will take your popper." - Mrs Raby.

"I have multiple virginities." - MIKEY!!

Jenny: "The Moustache was the cause of the AIDS!! It jumped upon Freddie's face and said "Haha, You've got AIDS." then it stayed there. He only realised it was the moustache's fault...when it was too late."
Zooty: "Did the Moustache bring the gayness too?"
Jenny: "...*glare*"

"I'm not fat! I throw up every morning to make sure I don't get that way."

Jenny: "Oh when the Saints, come marching in..."
Chris: "Isn't it go?"
Jenny: "Grr! You mucked up the song! I kept getting come and go mixed up."
*Stick turns around and stares at us*

"Dean has Jesus hair, but Trent has BRIAN MAY!! hair." (Brian May was the guitarist for Queen.)

Emily/Millie: "Did we scare you?"

Jenny: "Yes. I was so afraid I couldn't breath through my mouth."
Sophie: "So...you breathed through your nose?"

Jenny: "Look! It's Sam! ...Haha! Made you look."
Millie: "But...it IS Sam."
Jenny: "I still made you look."

Jenny: "Trust me, he doesn't need help in THAT area. Hehe, am I giving you images?"

Amy: "ARGH! IMAGES!!"

Jenny: "Hehehe. *sings* Lollipop lollipop, oooh lolli-lolli-lolli. LOLLIPOP!"

"When you're with Jenny, you don't need a drug." - The wiseness of Amy.

Zooty: "Your Dad's gay?"

Amy: "Her Dad listens to The Spice Girls."
Jenny (Quietly): "...Don't normal Dad's do that?"
Zooty: "But...you're here."
Jenny: "Ricky Martin had kids you know. IT PROVES NOTHING!!"

NESS JOKE!

What's the difference between a beetroot and an egg?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a good root.

Oh Biscuit, We barely knew thee.

*Jenny attempts to strangle Chris shortly after he kept insinuating she was a slut*

Chris: "That's my throat. I use it for breathing and such."
*Jenny looks at him*

Chris: "Why? What do you use yours for?"

"Doing things naked is great. It makes everything so much more exciting." - Onlooker.

Mr Sajko: "What was another country at war with The Allies in WW1? C'mon! Americans eat it at Thanksgiving..."
Flick: "Steak!!"

*Sam rattles off in German whilst Mrs Raby writes it up*
Mrs Raby: "What?! You slept with your sister?!"

Jenny: "How about that weather?"
Rhiannon: "The rain is very wet."
Jenny: "Yes, I've only seen it wet once before in my time and that was in a pool."
Rhiannon: "Was it an indoor or outdoor pool?"

Amy: "Biscuit was a really good friend. I wish I had had the chance to eat him."

Jenny: "Don't you mean 'meet'?"
Amy: "...no."

"You don't brush with a sweep do you?" - Mrs Raby

Rhiannon and I stole Emily's soul (folder) today. She open window and was attempting to throw my bag out of it. The window fell down and smashed.

She had to go see Mr Kelty and we felt really bad...so, we made up a song and dance for her!

The Emily Apology Song!! All together now!
OOOOH, Emily Emily Emily, we're really really sorry.

We wish you would forgive us and then we'll all be jolly!! *Gives pretty flower to*

WE LOVE YOU EMY!!

NESSQUOTE!

"Woah! I just sneezed Apple out of my nose."

A little later...

"I just realised why my nose still feels funny. I STILL HAVE APPLE UP MY NOSE!!"

Bad Trees

EMILY IS IN THIS POST!!!!!!!

Here it is folks. My 50th post. I tried to get quotes from everyone who has made The Mou great over time. One notable exception. See if you can spot it.

"Sudeep, don't just sit there like fungus on a log" - Mr Farquharson.

Chris: "Mr. Grogan has Troll Magic."
*Mr. Grogan comes round the corner*
Everyone: "Wooooah!!"

My brother bit the cats tail and a newspaper attacked him.

Jenny: "Aww, I don't have a breast pocket today."
Chris: "Don't look at me!"
Jenny: "You'd be a lovely breast pocket. *pats consolingly"

Chris: "*Nods head thankfully* ...wait. What?"

"The thing is...our Friday lessons, are you happy?" - Mr. Grogan.

Dad: "Iceland's gone bankrupt. It's assets have been frozen."
Jenny: "If their currency was ice, and they ran out of it, would they rename their country Land?"

"I just figured out Y isn't a number." - Flick

Jenny: "Did you know Mooey?"

Onlooker: "Mooey's a force of nature. Like gravity. You don't know gravity but you know OF gravity."
Jenny: "But Mooey's real!!"

*Jenny and Georgia laughing at each other for making faces across the classroom*
Mr Perkins: "What? Is my fly undone?"

Brittany: "Why are you sad?"

Jenny: "Because it's Friday and I have to go two days without you."
Brittany: "Aww yeah. I can't imagine going two days without me."

"Hahaha, I just made a class of 15 year olds run around with a witches hat on their heads, holding a leaf out in front of them." - Mr Bogdanovs.

"If you think your mother's cruel, think of Mother Nature. She sends sharks to bite you." - Dad.

A Section for Mrs Raby

"I drew on Mrs Milton's Smartboard with a pen. *Stops writing on the board she's writing on now.* Oopsy dais...is this a normal board?"

"Sometimes I can't find examples of what I'm talking about. It just blows it out of the water. There you go, I can't find it."

"You can't say "gebefellen" because it's just too lumpy."

Jenny's Radio Adventures

This is just a short entry because I'm an idiot. I misread an 8 as a 9. So there you go. There's just this quick entry then tomorrow THE BIG 50!! (I'm also telling this as a story without quotes, back to normal tomorrow.)

Thursday was the end of KOFM's Essential 2008 Countdown, some selected awesome people got reeeally excited about it.

Some of these selected awesome people (Flick and I) even sat outside during Maths just to listen to the radio.

The whole thing came to a dramatic climax during English. Emily and Millie had been trapped inside their classroom by a TEACHER!! SHOCK HORROR!! Mr Grogan, who is not a teacher but a MAGIC TROLL allowed Jenny to go outside and listen to the radio. BUT HOW WOULD SHE PASS ON THE SONGS TO EMILY AND MILLIE?!?!?!

She devised a scheme...the third song on the countdown was Bohemian Rhapsody. She turned the radio up loudly so they could hear it.

"Number 3. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy..." Unfortunately, after she did that...SHE COULDN'T TURN IT BACK DOWN!!! Luckily, at that moment Kelby came along and pressed the off button. They ran around the corner and turned the radio back on and then down again.

Thank heavens for Kelby.

We found out later that not only had Bohemian Rhapsody got Sam into trouble, but there was a year 11 class next door who had been talking abut asexual reproduction only to be interrupted by a chorus of beautiful voices asking whether they were having hallucinations or not.

The rest of the countdown was not as adventurous. Kelby yelled the second song (Straight Lines by Silverchair) outside the classroom and then Jenny tried using Charades to tell them that You Shook Me All Night Long (by ACDC) was the top song. Unfortunately Emily was laughing too hard, Sophie didn't care and Millie couldn't see me.

This year was fun, I don't even want to think about what I'm going to have to do to hear the top 3 next year...

Sky Rockets In Flight

Jenny: "Yeah yeah...I can walk home from Gateshead."
Emily: "We're in Dudley."

Jenny: "...fuck."

Flick celebrated her birthday during the holidays. She even had a party! She just didn't tell us where the party was...so we assumed it was at her house. We were alone there, patting her cats, for half an hour before we were rescued.

Someone, can't remember who: "You like French Stuff."

Jenny: "Did you just call me a slut?"

We had been discussing in Geography how apparently the size of someone's foot is the size of their penis. (For boys obviously).

Later on...

Dwyer: "How big is your foot?"

Will: "Big enough to cause great pain in your arse."

We were all fairly amused.

I gave Chris a book for his birthday, a really wonderful one that I would love. So, after I'd given it to him I said I'd like it back.

The first day back at school, he'd packed the book to give back to me because he wasn't entirely sure whether I was joking or not.

"Ostenatos? Isn't that like a kind of vegetable?" - Someone during a MUSIC CLASS!!!

Jenny: "I realised that if I get to go to my cousins' wedding next year I'll have been to Four Funerals and A Wedding. Totally unrelated, our shoes are the same!!"
Josie: "OOH! If they all get married then there'd be four weddings."

Jenny: "Wouldn't that be bigamy?"

Josie: "Shoes have different laws to us."

Unrelated to what usually goes on 'The Mou' but something I'm really proud of... I GOT TWO OUTSTANDING'S FOR MY ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT!!!

Back to 'The Mou' with,

NESS STUFF!!

Jenny: "I'd like to suck a mousse one day. Through a straw!"

*Ness cracks up*
Jenny: "What?"

Ness: "I was thinking something else for mousse."

*Jenny starts banging her head against the wall.*

Jenny: "Wait, what were you thinking? Hair mousse?"

Ness: "The animal, moose."
*Everyone pictures meese being sucked up through a straw*
After a while, this conversation turned to beastiality. Enough said.