No, I am not a lesbian. Nor am I an Australian Playwright. *Shudder*
Jenny: *stares at Flick* Meeeeeeeeeeeeelons. (She giggled loudly when I said bananas, I was trying out different fruit)
Amy: Yes Jenny. Girls have melons.
Jenny: I don't, I have boobs. Hey! Wouldn't that be cool? If boobs were actually watermelons or something. If you got really hungry you wouldn't starve.
*Amy and Flick just stare*
Girl 1 from Play: Do you get food orgasms? Sometimes I get really food horny and then when I have the food I get a food orgasm. Do you get that?
Girl 2 from Play: No. I just like the taste.
Caity and I were playing Schtalkie Von Schtalk's "Stalking" Game again today, we got quite daring and even followed Mr Muddle! He heard us giggling and turned around a few times to look at us as if we were weird or something...
Michael now feels famous.
Mooy looks like a piglet, if everyone was stranded on a desert island they'd eat Mooy because he looks like he'd taste of ham.
Did you hear about the butcher who reversed into a meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass.
I tried writing with a blunt pencil but I couldn't see the point.
Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side cut off? He's alright now.
"I don't have genitals" - Hosford
Brandon and Flick were pushing the desk in Science back and forth for some reason. I got glared at when I started cheering the girl-on-girl action on.
NESS QUOTES
"Did you know it's illegal for girls to pull their shirts over their heads, even if they're wearing a singlet, and run around like aeroplanes?"
Ness was jumping randomly in the canteen line.
Jenny: What are you doing?
Ness: Reaching for the chocolate on the fridge.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
More Nakedness
Jenny: Why are they walking around in their underwear?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why don't they go into a bathrom to put some clothes on?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why did that man just give them money?
Emily: ...do you REALLY need me to answer that one?
"You have asian on your face"
I was being stalked by a window today. Everytime I turned my back on it (I was sitting on the windowsill in maths...wait...why? That's odd...) it would rattle. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING TO CAUSE THE RATTLE!
Jenny randomly bursts into spouts laughter. Caity looks up from her sandwich...
Caity: What?
Jenny: Come in and see the good good good guys, pay cash and we'll slash the prices...
Caity gives Jenny a look.
Jenny: Ow! My maths book just elbowed me in the chin!
Flick: Since when has a maths book had elbows?
Jenny: ...go dye your hair.
"Hehe, the birds are flying in a V shape, but it's not a V. It's more like an M squiggly shape" - That blonde chick.
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why don't they go into a bathrom to put some clothes on?
Emily: Because they're sluts.
Jenny: Why did that man just give them money?
Emily: ...do you REALLY need me to answer that one?
"You have asian on your face"
I was being stalked by a window today. Everytime I turned my back on it (I was sitting on the windowsill in maths...wait...why? That's odd...) it would rattle. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING TO CAUSE THE RATTLE!
Jenny randomly bursts into spouts laughter. Caity looks up from her sandwich...
Caity: What?
Jenny: Come in and see the good good good guys, pay cash and we'll slash the prices...
Caity gives Jenny a look.
Jenny: Ow! My maths book just elbowed me in the chin!
Flick: Since when has a maths book had elbows?
Jenny: ...go dye your hair.
"Hehe, the birds are flying in a V shape, but it's not a V. It's more like an M squiggly shape" - That blonde chick.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bobble headed people with straws in the front row.
It's been a year since this time last year, and I've been thinking about science class an awful lot, so here it is folks, RANDOM QUOTES (that might not be quoted perfectly rightly because it has been a year or so!) FROM SCIENCE CLASS LAST YEAR!
Jenny: I really like that jumper, Mr Patrick. I think it's cool.
Mr Patrick: Thank you Jenny. It's not cool though. It's actually quite warm.
*Jenny looks blankly whilst Chris cracks up*
Chris in an undertone to Jenny: He made a joke...
Jenny stole Chris' pens and after struggling to get them back for a while, he gives up and dobs.
Chris: Mr Patrick, Jenny won't give me my pens!
Jenny: They're my pens! Chris was mistreating them.
Mr Patrick: Jenny, give Chris the pens. Chris, don't mistreat Jenny's pens.
I find that amusing because:
a) Chris is the more trustworthy of the two of us but Mr Patrick believed me
and
2) HOW THE HELL DO YOU MISTREAT A PEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCIENCE CLASS?!
*Chris sneezes*
Jenny: Bless you.
Mr Patrick: No talking in class! *Writes Jenny's name on the board*
Chris: I hope you learnt your lesson Jenny. No common courtesy in Science Class.
And until this day, I always slap myself for being commonly courtesyfilled in Science Class.
PRESENT DAY SCIENCE CLASS
Jenny: What's his name?
Chris: Who?
Jenny: Mackenzie. *lengthy pause* Never mind.
Chris' Mosquito Repellent:
If potassium explodes in water and bananas contain a lot of potassium, then if you put a banana in water, wouldn't that explode?
We know that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten a banana, therefore wouldn't it be fair to say that mosquitoes are attracted to bananas?
So, if you put a banana on a stick, and put glue on the banana on the stick and carried it around with you all day. The mosquitoes would be attracted to the banana and get stuck on the glue.
If you were to then throw the banana in a bucket of water, then the banana with the mosquitoes stuck on it would explode.
"Ow! I'm ok. And by that I mean I'm insane."
Jenny: I really like that jumper, Mr Patrick. I think it's cool.
Mr Patrick: Thank you Jenny. It's not cool though. It's actually quite warm.
*Jenny looks blankly whilst Chris cracks up*
Chris in an undertone to Jenny: He made a joke...
Jenny stole Chris' pens and after struggling to get them back for a while, he gives up and dobs.
Chris: Mr Patrick, Jenny won't give me my pens!
Jenny: They're my pens! Chris was mistreating them.
Mr Patrick: Jenny, give Chris the pens. Chris, don't mistreat Jenny's pens.
I find that amusing because:
a) Chris is the more trustworthy of the two of us but Mr Patrick believed me
and
2) HOW THE HELL DO YOU MISTREAT A PEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCIENCE CLASS?!
*Chris sneezes*
Jenny: Bless you.
Mr Patrick: No talking in class! *Writes Jenny's name on the board*
Chris: I hope you learnt your lesson Jenny. No common courtesy in Science Class.
And until this day, I always slap myself for being commonly courtesyfilled in Science Class.
PRESENT DAY SCIENCE CLASS
Jenny: What's his name?
Chris: Who?
Jenny: Mackenzie. *lengthy pause* Never mind.
Chris' Mosquito Repellent:
If potassium explodes in water and bananas contain a lot of potassium, then if you put a banana in water, wouldn't that explode?
We know that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten a banana, therefore wouldn't it be fair to say that mosquitoes are attracted to bananas?
So, if you put a banana on a stick, and put glue on the banana on the stick and carried it around with you all day. The mosquitoes would be attracted to the banana and get stuck on the glue.
If you were to then throw the banana in a bucket of water, then the banana with the mosquitoes stuck on it would explode.
"Ow! I'm ok. And by that I mean I'm insane."
Monday, June 2, 2008
Die Jungen tragen keinen Rocke.
Everything sounds funnier in German don'tcha think?
(For all those silly English speaking peeps, the title means "The boys wear no skirts")
Figured out three things on Saturday.
1. The songs Mickey and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go are NOT as innocent as I thought.
2. Amy looks like Chris' dog. NO JOKE!!!! It's pretty cool really. It's a beautiful dog of course, so it's not really an insult.
3. Running into tiled steps is very painful and can leave you with a mark on your leg that looks like a gun shot wound. IT'S SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!! I LOVE MY LEG!!
Ness: You're sick.
Jenny: It's just a headcold.
Ness: More like headcase.
In Unison: COLDCASE!
Ness: SO YOU ARE 65 BECAUSE YOU WERE MURDERED 30 YEARS AGO!!!
Well. It makes sense to ME.
[Insert that other thing I was going to remember to write here, here.]
NESS QUOTES!
"When I was younger I thought I was allergic to Turtles."
"I thought it was Arnold Whatsanigger until you corrected me last year"
(For all those silly English speaking peeps, the title means "The boys wear no skirts")
Figured out three things on Saturday.
1. The songs Mickey and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go are NOT as innocent as I thought.
2. Amy looks like Chris' dog. NO JOKE!!!! It's pretty cool really. It's a beautiful dog of course, so it's not really an insult.
3. Running into tiled steps is very painful and can leave you with a mark on your leg that looks like a gun shot wound. IT'S SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!! I LOVE MY LEG!!
Ness: You're sick.
Jenny: It's just a headcold.
Ness: More like headcase.
In Unison: COLDCASE!
Ness: SO YOU ARE 65 BECAUSE YOU WERE MURDERED 30 YEARS AGO!!!
Well. It makes sense to ME.
[Insert that other thing I was going to remember to write here, here.]
NESS QUOTES!
"When I was younger I thought I was allergic to Turtles."
"I thought it was Arnold Whatsanigger until you corrected me last year"
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Arrrgh. (As in the Pirate Noise.)
Jenny: "I don't duck away from balls. I like to brave things facely."
Chris: "And that there folks, is why you should duck."
Mooy, for some reason, was not wearing pants yesterday. He had a jacket wrapped around his legs and was sitting down with his pants in his hands. Mrs West and Mr D walked past and Mrs West told Mooy to put his shoes on.
I am not a caterpillar killer (Try saying 'Caterpillar Killer" 5 times in a row...I can't even say it twice.)
I asked Mum the duck question...
"Well, once I saw a poor female duck flying for her life over a lake with a whole swarm of male ducks chasing her...hmm, I have no idea, look up 'Reproductive Bird Systems' on Google, but don't look up 'Reproductive birds' certain images may come up..."
Chris quacked. WOW I ACTUALLY SAID THAT RIGHTLY! WOOT! (That too is very hard to say)
Ness and I have a new trick. I count to three and we sit down and stand back up again...WITHOUT HANDS!!
Millie and I were doing cartwheels at the bus stop while Chris and Mooy were behind a corner doing something, people were looking at us like we were odd or something. Especially when we had a race...
MOOY AND MILLIE ARE BOTH REALLY REALLY AWESOME! THEY GAVE ME PIGGY BACK RIDES YESTERDAY AND MOOY GAVE ME ANOTHER ONE TODAY!!!
NESSQUOTE!
Chris: I have a very high pain tolerance level.
Jenny: Hehe Can I test that?
Onlooker: Say no, say no, say no, say no, say no...
Ness: What does 'seno' mean?
Chris: "And that there folks, is why you should duck."
Mooy, for some reason, was not wearing pants yesterday. He had a jacket wrapped around his legs and was sitting down with his pants in his hands. Mrs West and Mr D walked past and Mrs West told Mooy to put his shoes on.
I am not a caterpillar killer (Try saying 'Caterpillar Killer" 5 times in a row...I can't even say it twice.)
I asked Mum the duck question...
"Well, once I saw a poor female duck flying for her life over a lake with a whole swarm of male ducks chasing her...hmm, I have no idea, look up 'Reproductive Bird Systems' on Google, but don't look up 'Reproductive birds' certain images may come up..."
Chris quacked. WOW I ACTUALLY SAID THAT RIGHTLY! WOOT! (That too is very hard to say)
Ness and I have a new trick. I count to three and we sit down and stand back up again...WITHOUT HANDS!!
Millie and I were doing cartwheels at the bus stop while Chris and Mooy were behind a corner doing something, people were looking at us like we were odd or something. Especially when we had a race...
MOOY AND MILLIE ARE BOTH REALLY REALLY AWESOME! THEY GAVE ME PIGGY BACK RIDES YESTERDAY AND MOOY GAVE ME ANOTHER ONE TODAY!!!
NESSQUOTE!
Chris: I have a very high pain tolerance level.
Jenny: Hehe Can I test that?
Onlooker: Say no, say no, say no, say no, say no...
Ness: What does 'seno' mean?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Springy
Chris: "Ich bin heiss. Ich bin SEHR heiss." (I am hot. I am VERY hot.)
Jenny to Dean/Trent: "How do you say 'keep thinking that' in German?"
Dean/Trent: *Shrug*
Jenny to Chris: "Keep thinking that in German"
"Can you give a straight answer for anything? *In an undertone* No, of course not...you're gay. Wait...Did I really just say that?" - Chris on Mr Farquharson (whose name I can spell now!!!!!!!!)
Fred is twirled. Seriously.
"We're ALL dodoes equally."
*Dwyer's phone rings* "STUPID!!!" - New PE teacher, taking things seriously. Why do all the PE teachers we've had this year know my cousin? It's got to be a conspiracy. Am I getting coincidence and conspiracy mixed up again?
"I feel like Turning Japanese...I MEAN THE SONG!!"
The Almightiest Sneeze EVER was...snoozed? by Chris, it ECHOED AROUND THE QUAD DUUUUDES (and dudettes...)!!
Jenny STILL DOESN'T KNOW HOW DUCKS REPRODUCE!!! :'( Indeed, instead of figuring that out, all the people I've asked recently have instead given me other animals I don't get. Such as, dinosaurs (spikes on back), turtles, snakes, any sort of reptile, any sort of bird. Oh...Ok...she only knows how mammals reproduce. That makes me feel so...terribly selfish.
NESSQUOTES
"I always associated meningococcal with blue cocktails."
"I tried dying an orange purple once."
"It's not that my teeth are yellow...it's my skin that's too white."
"What?! The Mardi Gras is for gay and lesbian people?! I thought it was for African Americans!!"
Jenny to Dean/Trent: "How do you say 'keep thinking that' in German?"
Dean/Trent: *Shrug*
Jenny to Chris: "Keep thinking that in German"
"Can you give a straight answer for anything? *In an undertone* No, of course not...you're gay. Wait...Did I really just say that?" - Chris on Mr Farquharson (whose name I can spell now!!!!!!!!)
Fred is twirled. Seriously.
"We're ALL dodoes equally."
*Dwyer's phone rings* "STUPID!!!" - New PE teacher, taking things seriously. Why do all the PE teachers we've had this year know my cousin? It's got to be a conspiracy. Am I getting coincidence and conspiracy mixed up again?
"I feel like Turning Japanese...I MEAN THE SONG!!"
The Almightiest Sneeze EVER was...snoozed? by Chris, it ECHOED AROUND THE QUAD DUUUUDES (and dudettes...)!!
Jenny STILL DOESN'T KNOW HOW DUCKS REPRODUCE!!! :'( Indeed, instead of figuring that out, all the people I've asked recently have instead given me other animals I don't get. Such as, dinosaurs (spikes on back), turtles, snakes, any sort of reptile, any sort of bird. Oh...Ok...she only knows how mammals reproduce. That makes me feel so...terribly selfish.
NESSQUOTES
"I always associated meningococcal with blue cocktails."
"I tried dying an orange purple once."
"It's not that my teeth are yellow...it's my skin that's too white."
"What?! The Mardi Gras is for gay and lesbian people?! I thought it was for African Americans!!"
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Orange Moss and Egg Cake
Boom Boom Chucka Chucka BOOM BOOM! Open the door get on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur...
HOW THOUGH!?!? DAMN YOU SAXON WITH YOUR INCREDIBLE HEIGHT FOR MAKING ME WONDER ABOUT DINOSAURS AS WELL! SHAAAAAME!!!!
On the backfields after a bomb scare, Amy was playing hangman. She got B O M B / _ H R E A _ but she could NOT get the last word, indeed, Max had to tell her. How many clever cookies here can guess what it was?
Chris didn't enjoy the bomb scare as much as I did. He was tied up (by me...to 4 other peoples shoes, serves him right for wearing laces) and sexually harrassed by Joe.
Shuttle bus. It rhymes with Cuttle Cuss.
Wouldn't it be great if we could control what our sirnames are? For example, I could control the school bell and make it go off when I want. I could also play knock and run without having to run. I'd just annoy people by magically making their doorbells ring. And if they don't have doorbells? Well, what kind of freak doesn't have a doorbell anyway?
An unfortunate drama group playing an unfortunate game:
"Moron and blue"
"It's on TONIGHT"
"BALLS!!!!"
"Queensland and NSW!"
"Times up."
"What was it?"
"STATE OF ORIGIN!!!"
"Oh...what's that?"
The entire class then started yelling at her.
NESSQUOTE OF THE WEEK!!
Well...there isn't one. I've been sick, and she's been sick and there've been teacher strikes and all...but she made me the orange moss and egg cake a few weeks ago. It was mossy and eggy. BUT THERE WEREN'T ANY EGGS!! ARRRRGH!!
HOW THOUGH!?!? DAMN YOU SAXON WITH YOUR INCREDIBLE HEIGHT FOR MAKING ME WONDER ABOUT DINOSAURS AS WELL! SHAAAAAME!!!!
On the backfields after a bomb scare, Amy was playing hangman. She got B O M B / _ H R E A _ but she could NOT get the last word, indeed, Max had to tell her. How many clever cookies here can guess what it was?
Chris didn't enjoy the bomb scare as much as I did. He was tied up (by me...to 4 other peoples shoes, serves him right for wearing laces) and sexually harrassed by Joe.
Shuttle bus. It rhymes with Cuttle Cuss.
Wouldn't it be great if we could control what our sirnames are? For example, I could control the school bell and make it go off when I want. I could also play knock and run without having to run. I'd just annoy people by magically making their doorbells ring. And if they don't have doorbells? Well, what kind of freak doesn't have a doorbell anyway?
An unfortunate drama group playing an unfortunate game:
"Moron and blue"
"It's on TONIGHT"
"BALLS!!!!"
"Queensland and NSW!"
"Times up."
"What was it?"
"STATE OF ORIGIN!!!"
"Oh...what's that?"
The entire class then started yelling at her.
NESSQUOTE OF THE WEEK!!
Well...there isn't one. I've been sick, and she's been sick and there've been teacher strikes and all...but she made me the orange moss and egg cake a few weeks ago. It was mossy and eggy. BUT THERE WEREN'T ANY EGGS!! ARRRRGH!!
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