There was more nudity today at school than any other days put together in my entire school career.
"Wouldn't it be cool if computer's could get STD's?" - "They can. Computers can have sex."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Stick on Flick's BLUE shirt.
There was a cyclone in Burma and thousands of people died...but it's Burma so it's awesome.
"Wouldn't computers get STV's?" - Flick...an hour later.
"I'm turning into a menagerie" - Chris
Chris: She was unconscious with her eyes open
Flick: No I wasn't, I was...what is it when you're not drunk?
Jenny: You mean what you aren't now?
"Ha. That kids best word was faggot. What a poofter. DAMNIT I just said the same thing" - Mooy
"Here have a third hug just to make it even! *hug*" *Turns and walks back to his peoples, suddenly stopping after about 5 metres* "Hey! Jenny! That was three!!"
Flick: Did you just say you were pregnant?"
Jenny: I didn't want anyone to know until I'd told the father!!
Flick: Who's that?"
Jenny: Oh just some sheep you don't know...
Chris: What did Flick do to you?! (Flick is a sheep you see)
Flick: I have higher standards.
Jenny: You're not a sheep! You're a cow!! I, for one, would rather be a sheep than a cow.
Chris: That means you impregnated yourself! If Flick were a sheep she would've raped you, but she's a cow. If you were a sheep you'd've raped yourself, but you're not so you didn't. That leaves Nazza to have raped you....wait, I'm the sheep! Nazza's the kiwi...SHIT! I RAPED YOU!"
Jenny: It wasn't rape, it was consensual. YELLOW DAY! FEEL THE LOVE! *hug*
The bus stop can be described in TEN words:
"It was a great afternoon: stripping, wheelbarrows and worm touching"
Indeed it was Chris...indeed it was...
Monday, May 5, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I just lost the game.
I wonder how many people read the title and groaned. Hehe I'm such a bitch. Yes Chris, I know that's what you just said, in your head or outside your head...somewhere.
Stalkie Von Stalk and his sidekick Stalkie Von Stalker. I don't know why Stalkie Von Stalk has a sidekick...Stalkie Von Stalker gets quite frustrated whenever Stalkie Von Stalk talks about his stalkee.
The word "Stalk" has lost all meaning to me and I'm now not sure if it's spelt right...
"Does your bus go past Lake Macquarie Hospital?" - "Is that the big white building in Gateshead?!" - "Yes!" - "Then no...it doesn't."
Why did that man take the monkeys fruit? Seriously...
"Jenny, this is the second time I've had to stop you talking today.........................................................................shame on you." - Mr "Awesome" Grogan.
"You look like a baby bird waiting for his mother to regurgitate in his mouth." - "Will you be my mother?"
"You wanna take this outside?" - "We are outside" - "Alright...let's take it INSIDE and discuss it maturely like adults"
NESS QUOTE
"Sorry, I was cooking that Italian spaghetti..."
MILLIE!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SCORPION?!?!
Stalkie Von Stalk and his sidekick Stalkie Von Stalker. I don't know why Stalkie Von Stalk has a sidekick...Stalkie Von Stalker gets quite frustrated whenever Stalkie Von Stalk talks about his stalkee.
The word "Stalk" has lost all meaning to me and I'm now not sure if it's spelt right...
"Does your bus go past Lake Macquarie Hospital?" - "Is that the big white building in Gateshead?!" - "Yes!" - "Then no...it doesn't."
Why did that man take the monkeys fruit? Seriously...
"Jenny, this is the second time I've had to stop you talking today.........................................................................shame on you." - Mr "Awesome" Grogan.
"You look like a baby bird waiting for his mother to regurgitate in his mouth." - "Will you be my mother?"
"You wanna take this outside?" - "We are outside" - "Alright...let's take it INSIDE and discuss it maturely like adults"
NESS QUOTE
"Sorry, I was cooking that Italian spaghetti..."
MILLIE!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SCORPION?!?!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
You can't use me, I'm wet.
An example of Chris's song writing skills:
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gunna buy you hydrogen
If that hydrogen don't pop
Mama's gunna buy you a glowing splint
If that glowing splint don't relight
Mama's gunna buy you some limewater
If that that limewater won't go white
Then it's not a chemical thingy
But then again when you think
You might just fail at science.
"We think he likes you" - "Ooooh! Is THAT why he let me hold his ball?"
"You're on top of things Chrissie." - "I don't wanna be on top. I wanna be on the bottom" - "...Why?" - "I'm scared of heights"
I did end up finding my glue lid.
NESS QUOTE
Is not happening today because I didn't actually get a chance to chat to her due to the fuzz deciding to escape from Chris's face and join me in taking over the world. Unfortunately Chris found out about the scheme and thwarted it. See what I mean by short?
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gunna buy you hydrogen
If that hydrogen don't pop
Mama's gunna buy you a glowing splint
If that glowing splint don't relight
Mama's gunna buy you some limewater
If that that limewater won't go white
Then it's not a chemical thingy
But then again when you think
You might just fail at science.
"We think he likes you" - "Ooooh! Is THAT why he let me hold his ball?"
"You're on top of things Chrissie." - "I don't wanna be on top. I wanna be on the bottom" - "...Why?" - "I'm scared of heights"
I did end up finding my glue lid.
NESS QUOTE
Is not happening today because I didn't actually get a chance to chat to her due to the fuzz deciding to escape from Chris's face and join me in taking over the world. Unfortunately Chris found out about the scheme and thwarted it. See what I mean by short?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Articulamate
Jenny loves and laughs at red-heads.
"Pass me some paper please" - "From where?" - says Amy, leaning on a pile of paper as tall as Chris (being that small it was a forgivable mistake.)
"Where's my chocolate?! Chrissie...are you wearing my chocolate?"
Freddie in a yellow unitard will make ANY girl scream. Except Jenny, but then she's never admitted anything. (I wrote this ages ago...even I have no idea what the hell I'm on about)
"Animal remains in the ocean sink to the bottom." - "So why do my goldfish float?"
"I'm not going to say a thing." - "EW!! *bangs head on table*" - Jenny not saying anything to Flick.
Update on the chocolate situation: Abel stole and mushed it. Chrissie IS wearing it.
"Terry Jones, yeah...you know...the one with the duck." (At least I THINK it was duck...I can't read my writing and it WAS a long time ago...)
"Wow. I hurt you by hitting my own forehead" - The all powerful fuzz. (Unrelated to Chris)
"YAY!! I GET TO SLEEP WITH MOOY!!" - Jenny pretending to be Chris...too loudly.
"Utensils...isn't that kitchen stuff? ... COOKING!!" - "No...Writing utensils..."
NESS QUOTE
Unfortunately there will be no NESSQUOTE this post as I forgot everything she saw. Sorry, SHE didn't see anything. For that last sentence, I will be murdered. For those who weren't suspecting anything until the last sentence before this one...there is nothing going on that you should be worried about.
The only people who read this have no souls. So...I'm not breaking any promises. :D
Note: I meant to say 'say' when I typed 'saw' and I just went with it. So...I technically cannot be murdered or feel your wrath, legally.
"Pass me some paper please" - "From where?" - says Amy, leaning on a pile of paper as tall as Chris (being that small it was a forgivable mistake.)
"Where's my chocolate?! Chrissie...are you wearing my chocolate?"
Freddie in a yellow unitard will make ANY girl scream. Except Jenny, but then she's never admitted anything. (I wrote this ages ago...even I have no idea what the hell I'm on about)
"Animal remains in the ocean sink to the bottom." - "So why do my goldfish float?"
"I'm not going to say a thing." - "EW!! *bangs head on table*" - Jenny not saying anything to Flick.
Update on the chocolate situation: Abel stole and mushed it. Chrissie IS wearing it.
"Terry Jones, yeah...you know...the one with the duck." (At least I THINK it was duck...I can't read my writing and it WAS a long time ago...)
"Wow. I hurt you by hitting my own forehead" - The all powerful fuzz. (Unrelated to Chris)
"YAY!! I GET TO SLEEP WITH MOOY!!" - Jenny pretending to be Chris...too loudly.
"Utensils...isn't that kitchen stuff? ... COOKING!!" - "No...Writing utensils..."
NESS QUOTE
Unfortunately there will be no NESSQUOTE this post as I forgot everything she saw. Sorry, SHE didn't see anything. For that last sentence, I will be murdered. For those who weren't suspecting anything until the last sentence before this one...there is nothing going on that you should be worried about.
The only people who read this have no souls. So...I'm not breaking any promises. :D
Note: I meant to say 'say' when I typed 'saw' and I just went with it. So...I technically cannot be murdered or feel your wrath, legally.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I breathe fluently.
"You're so negative Chris." - "No I'm not"
H's are bad for the world.
"YOU SOUNDED LIKE PINGU!! BLURHP!!"
Chris is a small citrus fruit. (Cumquat)
"Ya Mum's an ocelot" - "My Mum's an ostrich"
"See? I told you you were acting differently. Usually you'd just hit me not strangle me..." (Yes Chris. I'm having a platonic affair, and yes. I WOULD call it platonic.)
"You look constipated" - "How would you know what I look like when I'm constipated?" - "I watch you when you're sleeping."
"I can speak French and German" - "What about UK-ian?"
Chris: Blah
Jenny: Geh
Chris: Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop
Jenny: Quark a-wark a-wark
*Onlooker backs away slowly*
Jenny: DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE PEOPLE!!
...he left.
NESS QUOTE
"There was too much bi-carb in my cocaine, so I used it as fairy dust instead"
H's are bad for the world.
"YOU SOUNDED LIKE PINGU!! BLURHP!!"
Chris is a small citrus fruit. (Cumquat)
"Ya Mum's an ocelot" - "My Mum's an ostrich"
"See? I told you you were acting differently. Usually you'd just hit me not strangle me..." (Yes Chris. I'm having a platonic affair, and yes. I WOULD call it platonic.)
"You look constipated" - "How would you know what I look like when I'm constipated?" - "I watch you when you're sleeping."
"I can speak French and German" - "What about UK-ian?"
Chris: Blah
Jenny: Geh
Chris: Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop
Jenny: Quark a-wark a-wark
*Onlooker backs away slowly*
Jenny: DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE PEOPLE!!
...he left.
NESS QUOTE
"There was too much bi-carb in my cocaine, so I used it as fairy dust instead"
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Dead Blonde Running
"Tory's brother is gay? But Tory's so gay..."
Lewis on top of Chris...an image I will treasure for years to come.
Apparently Brandon was 'stirring me up' in Science so Mr Farquison gave him a 'sharp, devastating blow'.
"I feel like some kind of dalmation" - Same blonde from the title.
How the hell do you like someone you've only spoken to once?
"Come on, I want to rub it." *Class erupts into giggles* "You are dirty minded people" - Mr Sajko
I need a hug.
"You're looking more like a cult leader everyday" - Thanks Lydia.
Shampoo = Pregnancy. Why, you ask? It just does.
I hate fish. Electronic or real. They just cause trouble. Whether by vertically swimming or just by floating upside WHEN STILL ALIVE! Either way...they're not cool. At least Silver isn't. Carstairs is good ever since he stopped vertically swimming.
"I refuse to call you a clan." - "What about a clab?"
Did I mention Sajko's apple?
"Bulemic people are funny. Look at Jenny." - Prickface. Aka Abel or Brandon...not sure which one...they're all the same to me.
Chris and Max had a funny discussion at the bus stop that ended up in them insulting my brother. I can't remember how it went...
It was NOT Max's hand.
NESS QUOTE!!
"I think Chris is shorter than Chris."
Lewis on top of Chris...an image I will treasure for years to come.
Apparently Brandon was 'stirring me up' in Science so Mr Farquison gave him a 'sharp, devastating blow'.
"I feel like some kind of dalmation" - Same blonde from the title.
How the hell do you like someone you've only spoken to once?
"Come on, I want to rub it." *Class erupts into giggles* "You are dirty minded people" - Mr Sajko
I need a hug.
"You're looking more like a cult leader everyday" - Thanks Lydia.
Shampoo = Pregnancy. Why, you ask? It just does.
I hate fish. Electronic or real. They just cause trouble. Whether by vertically swimming or just by floating upside WHEN STILL ALIVE! Either way...they're not cool. At least Silver isn't. Carstairs is good ever since he stopped vertically swimming.
"I refuse to call you a clan." - "What about a clab?"
Did I mention Sajko's apple?
"Bulemic people are funny. Look at Jenny." - Prickface. Aka Abel or Brandon...not sure which one...they're all the same to me.
Chris and Max had a funny discussion at the bus stop that ended up in them insulting my brother. I can't remember how it went...
It was NOT Max's hand.
NESS QUOTE!!
"I think Chris is shorter than Chris."
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The cat is in the doghouse.
"Are you going to turn into a werewolf tonight?" - "No, It's not that time of the month."
"Is that what you were doing? I thought you had diarrhoea." - "My teacher once said something to us in about year two about verbal diarrhoea, but we thought she said purple so we were wondering what she had eaten." - "My love for you is like diarrhoea...I just can't hold it in" - "Now THAT'S what I call verbal diarrhoea" - Chrissie, that chick who sits behind us in science class and Mr Farquharson. Guess who said what.
"The hurts my self esteem...calling me a parrot..." - Either Mrs Raby or someone Mrs Raby insulted. Guess which one.
"Do you mind if there's chess on the back?" - "No, of course not. It'll add to comic relief." - Everyone's favourite comedy duo who should really have a show together...hmm...Hey Chris, I'd ask you about this in person but I'd forget and I know you'll read this so, how's about it shorty? =p
Jenny eats pen's genitalia.
"Here, borrow mine. You don't want naked white out." - "THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP BORROWING MINE?!?!" - Dwyer seemed somewhat shocked that I had my own white out...
NESS QUOTE
"Thut-up. I will not thay the tongue twithter about the thithery thnakes. Alright?" (She really did have a lisp that day...it was highly amusing)
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